This
jewel is dedicated to Frank Victor Vasquez, III.
Jessica
and I met Vic and Stacey, his mom, about 5 years ago at the local
soup kitchen. Jess and I were new to Tampa and anxious to make new
friends.
Stacey
and I were both single moms with kids the same age who obviously had
a heart for the homeless, and so began our friendship.
Vic
is a big guy. I say is
because I’m sure in Heaven he is still big, both in size and
spirit! For some reason Stacey always has a 2 door car which may not
seem like a big deal unless your Vic and have to climb in the back
seat.
Many times Stacey would pick Jess and I up for soup kitchen and
without being asked Vic would climb in that small back seat. He
literally looked like a giant in a match box car. I would laugh and
say “Vic you can sit in the front” but he would always say no.
This may seem like a small thing but it’s one of the many small
things that made Vic so special.
He
would serve food complete with a hair net, set up tables, chat with
our guest, load chairs, whatever was asked of him with a smile that
was contagious.
The
thing I found the most wonderful about Vic was his relationship with
his mother. It’s one thing for a mother/daughter relationship to be
close but a mother son… I’m not talking about a mama’s boy,
well OK yes I am, but in a masculine sense. When you said Stacey,
you said Stacey and Vic because they truly did everything together.
Vic
did stuff with Stacey like yard sailing, visiting family and friends,
eating out, going to the beach, his mom’s favorite, or serving the
community.
Stacey attended ALL Vic’s sporting events and if Vic’s weren't enough she attended his friends too.
Vic
was such an example of a young man that honored his mother. He was
respectful, most of the times obedient, and just plain fun to be
around. Adults would often comment on what a great relationship the
two of them had.
I
have learned so much from Stacey’s family. There is a lot of truth
in knowing a believer of Jesus Christ by their actions.
To
be honest when we first became friends I couldn't understand why
almost every weekend Stacey and Vic went to her parent’s or
brother’s house. Going to my family’s house on purpose was not a
concept I understood. That is until I met them.
My
daughters and I were blessed to be in their homes and saw a family
that wasn't perfect but knew their roles. Yes family members have
roles.
Bruce,
Stacey’s father is such a man of God and a true leader of the
household. Eric her brother, with a beautiful family of his own,
still respected the decisions his father made. Mary, her mom works
hard both in the home and outside of it. Proverbs 31 woman for sure.
Bruce watches over his family with a love and protection he no doubt
learned from His Heavenly Father.
My
daughters and I were in awe of the dynamics of this family. I
understood immediately where Vic learned to treat family. He had a
great heritage.
I
have to laugh thinking about the four of us in the early days. Stacey
& Vic were rednecks me and Jess were
girly
girls. Vic was on the larger size Jess the smaller. They wanted to
watch monster trucks, we wanted to go to the mall. With all our
differences we found unity, support, a new family and best of all
unconditional love.
Stacey
and I would joke that Jess and Vic would marry when they grew up so
Stacey and I could live in the mother-in law suit. They of course
would have nothing to do with our plans and ignored our annoying
comments, can’t blame a mom for trying.
Vic
taught me lessons I never had a chance to share with him. One in
particular was learned at his wrestling match.
A
few days prior I had an argument with my son Anthony, he’s a single
dad and I was angry because I thought he was playing too rough with
my grandsons.
Stacey
invited me to an event Vic would be wrestling at and I initially said
no.
It
brought back memories of my high school days. My best friend Linda
and I met some of the wrestlers at our school we thought were really
cute SO we signed up to be mat girls. Having no idea what a mat girl
was we showed up at the wrestling match, to our horror they wanted us
to move the smelly sweaty mats around the room. Did I mention girly
girl? We decided the boys weren't that cute after all and went
home.
Stacey
would not take no for an answer, did I mention she’s also hard
headed? Must be that birds of a feather thing, so after some bantering
I agreed. Little did I know God wanted to teach me something.
As
I sat there on the bleachers in the smelly gym I was watching all the
different matches that were going on. I also noticed men with their
boys on the floor between the matches and of course they were all
wrestling each other. I had never witnessed so many men/boys in one
room attacking each other for fun…..
It
was all very barbaric and it was then the Lord whispered to me “I
created men different than women, your son is treating his sons like
dad’s treat their boys not moms.”
It
shed a whole new light on my own son’s interaction with his boys.
Apparently all boys wrestle.
Although
I thought I wouldn't like watching Vic wrestle I instantly became
one of the annoying parents cheering LOUDLY for their kid, even if he wasn't technically mine
Thank
you Vic for helping me understand the dynamics between men a little
better and their need to slap each other around, go figure.
As
much as I would like to say our kids were perfect, of course there
not.
It
was not uncommon for Stacey and I to call one another when we were
administering a punishment to see if our restriction time fit the
crime. We would go over the details of their deed, consider if it was
a first offense, were they really sorry, how mad were we and then
decide our punishment. It was nice to have someone to bounce that
kind of stuff off of. There were nights we met and walked around the
apartment complex when we needed to vent about something they were
doing. We would start off angry and end up thankful we had them.
I
had no idea our time with Vic would be so short…..
Vic
was killed in a freak accident this past weekend. I am still in
disbelief. I am thankful he knows Jesus and is in Heaven with his
Heavenly Father. I’m just not able to wrap my mind around the fact
that I won’t see him now. I look into my dear friend Stacey’s
eyes and cannot begin to comprehend her pain. She is the most amazing
woman I have ever met. Her strength this past week has been a true
testimony of the power, comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit.
Last
night we met at soup kitchen. Many of our original team was there to
support Stacey. Her parents, brother and niece joined us for the
first time to honor Victor. I was doing pretty well until I saw Vic’s
grandfather standing behind the drink table. That was what Vic use to
do.
I literally stopped in my tracks and began to weep. In this
moment I realized the younger man of the family was teaching the
older how to serve in a new way. But what really caught my attention
was the reaction when we announced to our guests of Vic’s
tragic death. To see men crying over the loss of a servant spoke
volumes. These were men that met Vic at a homeless soup kitchen site
where they came for a meal. They got a meal and a great big teddy
bear of a friend named Vic. He didn't just feed them food he fed
them life. He befriended them, he cared about them, he invested his
personal time in them, he was Jesus with skin on to them. He mattered
to them the way they mattered to him. That Gems is a testimony!
I
have met many of his friends from school and you can tell immediately
they are quality friends. You have to be a quality friend to have
quality friends.
Vic
was also an organ donor so even in his death lives will be saved.
These are qualities of a selfless person.
Again
Gems I’m not trying to make it sound like Vic was perfect or had no
flaws because he did but I want to honor the fact that he loved his
family, friends and most importantly Jesus Christ. Victor was saved
by grace not by works but, he took that gift and gave back to God by
demonstrating that faith with
good works.
In
my alone time with the Lord, as I was grieving my young friend’s
departure, God showed me
Psalm
116 :15
Precious
in the sight of the Lord
is
the death of his faithful servants.
God
carefully chooses when He calls one of his own into His presence.
Jesus
tells us in Matthew
10:29-31 Are
not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to
the ground outside your Father’s care. And
even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So
don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
God
knew about this tragic accident and the outcome of it before Victor
was born.
Psalm
139:15-16 My
frame was not hidden from you
when
I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the
depths of the earth. Your
eyes saw my unformed body;
all
the days ordained for me were written in your book
before
one of them came to be.
What the enemy meant for harm God has already been using for good. His hand can be seen over and over by the testimonies given by those of us who have been left behind.
So I dedicate this jewel in honor of Frank Victor Vasquez III, his amazing mother Stacey Vasquez that I am honored to do life with
and her loving family.
V
alued by those who love you
I
nspires us to serve
C
haritable to the end
T
ank (ask his friends )
O
ne of a kind
R
eigning with Jesus!
May 11, 1996 - October 6, 2013