Hey
Gems,
It's
been a while since I've had time to write. Although I haven't
personally met most of you I truly do
miss you.
So
let me fill you in on my world.
I
am currently staying with my friend Beverly. Why am I staying with a
friend you ask????
Well
I am waiting on my next assignment. I was given clearance to move on
from my last job and as soon as I know where I will be working next I
will find a place to live in that area.
Currently
all my belongings are in a 10x10 storage unit.
Technically
my load is light but emotionally there have been tough moments as I am in the
waiting and listening mode.
One
of the most difficult places for me on my life's journey is when I'm in
a season that most people don't understand. I'll call it the limb season.
At times it can feel like
I'm under a spiritual microscope. People want an explanation of my
world and I don't have one to satisfy them. I don't have one because
it hasn't been totally explained to me yet. I just know what is
right, what's wrong, and where I made a mistake. Yes, I make mistakes
and those mistakes have consequences.
I
didn't listen to the Holy Spirit's revelation on something that had
to do with my home and the circumstances went from me continuing to
rent month to month, which would have been perfect since I knew GOD
was moving me, to, you have to be out in 3 weeks and I don't know
where I'm going yet.
Hence
staying with Beverly.
Of
course God's mercy always kicks in when we repent, ask forgiveness
and keep moving.
Making
a mistake doesn't mean you don't hear from God it means you don't
always follow directions completely. Whether it's on purpose or
unintentional you still deal with the consequences of your
decisions.
Do
you remember in Matthew when Peter said he would never deny Jesus?
Matthew
26:75
Then
Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster
crows, you will disown me three times." And he went outside and
wept bitterly.
I'm
sure when Peter said he would never deny Jesus he meant it, but when
he was actually in a position where fear out weighed faith he failed. When the limb he was on got scary he made a wrong choice.
The part of that story that is so encouraging to me is when he denied
Jesus, the Lord looked right at him.
Luke
22:61 The
Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the
word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows
today, you will disown me three times.
The
word says that Peter wept bitterly but I don't think it was because
the Lord looked at him with a look of disgust but rather a look that
said, even though I knew you would deny me I still love you.
That my
friend would make you weep bitterly.
So
here's the thing, sometimes when we are out on that limb, we don't totally understand BUT we know we are right where God wants us we tend to avoid people. We don't want to be judged or worse see the
look of disappointment in the eyes of those we love or respect. We don't want them to think we are acting squirrelly.
We
are afraid we will not see the eyes of Jesus reflecting back at us,
especially if we have missed a step of the Holy Spirit or if the Holy
Spirit is doing things His way and not the worlds.
I
have a ask myself when I'm hiding “my limb experience” am I disowning the Lord?
Matthew
10:33
But
whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in
heaven.
When
I make excuses or avoid conversations because I don't want to have to
explain myself am I disowning Jesus? Do I not want to look stupid when I don't have all the answers? Or do I not want Jesus to look stupid because of me? Am I worried about what my limb looks like to man more than following where I ASKED Jesus to take me? Have you ever had these squirrelly conversations?
In
my humble opinion it seems to me that people get uncomfortable when
they are around me and they can't understand my decisions. This isn't
a good or bad thing, just an observation. I wonder if they think my
condition is contagious? If God can appear so unpredictable in my
life is there a chance He might take them out on a faith limb?
My
friend Beverly is one of the kindest most generous people I know and
if you know her you would agree that she puts the energizer bunny to
shame. This woman NEVER rest! She runs circles around most teenage
girls in a buy one get one free shopping frenzy.
She is a talented painter, organizer, decorator you name it she's awesome.
The
thing is when your with her, especially staying with her, you feel
the need to keep up or at least help in some way.
Staying
with someone is a humbling experience. If your like me you want to do
all you can to show your gratitude. At first I felt guilty that I
couldn't keep up with my friend but the Holy Spirit showed me I would
be trying to keep up with the way He created Beverly not the way He
created me. Truth be told I don't decorate and will avoid painting at
all cost. We can get uncomfortable when we don't reflect those closely around us.
The
Lord showed me just because I'm around Beverly doesn't mean I'm
supposed to duplicate her. I'm supposed to support her in any way
I
can. He said we can learn from each other as He teaches us both to look more like Jesus and less like the world or each ohter.
It's
the same way when we are on our limb. God isn't calling people to
necessarily join us but He is asking us to help each other persevere
when our confidence may be lacking.
Hebrews
10:35-36
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You
need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you
will receive what he has promised.
Gems
I want what God has promised even if I have to go out on a limb, look like a squirrel and let people think I'm nuts!!!
What I felt the Holy Spirit was teaching me in my current experience is:
1. Listen closely to what the Holy Spirit is telling you to do.
2. Know God will take care of you EVEN if you mess up. Don't get ahead of the plan.
3. Stay on track despite circumstances.
4. Make sure you have prayer covering.
5. Don't compare yourself to anyone and don't try and take on traits of anyone other than Jesus.
6. Not being offended is ALWAYS a choice.
7. Look at others in the same way you want to be looked at.
Bottom line, I'm excited to be on this adventure and I know my life will be changed again for the better. I can't wait to see where God leads me and all the amazing people I will meet along the way!
Isaiah 48:6,17 "From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you. I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Bottom line, I'm excited to be on this adventure and I know my life will be changed again for the better. I can't wait to see where God leads me and all the amazing people I will meet along the way!
Isaiah 48:6,17 "From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you. I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go."
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!