Agape Love

Over the last month I have had some unexpected financial struggles in my life and have been overwhelmed with the needs of those around me. I have been trying to give as much as I can to those who are truly experiencing hard times. As for me, I tell  my children often "I'm one of the richest women I know" and I truly feel that way.

However, at times my own food bank can run a bit bare and this past month has been one of those times.  As many of you know I have no real need for a kitchen as cooking is not my passion and I am perfectly happy living off cereal and peanut butter and jelly. This is not a plea for groceries, stay with me.

I want to share two precious stories with you.  The first was a couple weeks ago a friend was in need of  help for a project she was working on and asked if I could be that helper.  Now this friend is one of the most generous people I know and has blessed me many times over the years. I was able to arrange my schedule to accommodate her and told the Lord I really wanted to bless her.  When we finished our work my dear friend tried to pay me. I explained to her that I didn't want any money, being able to give back to her was payment enough. She then wanted to take me and our other sister/co-worker to lunch. I hesitated at first because the whole idea was for her not to spend any money on me.

We decided to go and ended up at Cheddars. My plan was to order a small salad but when the server arrived my friend asked what she suggested we order. Her exact words were "order something delicious because our computers just went down and your meal is free!"
WHAT!!  Well this changed things for sure my meager salad quickly became a steak!

We ate honey croissants, shared an appetizer, had a salad, and a main course.  We even got chocolate chip cookies when we left. There was enough food for lunch and dinner!
We praised God for our unexpected surprise and just as we were leaving the computers came back on.  That's what I call God's timing,  I thanked Him for not letting my friend pay for any of it.

OK back to my situation. I knew the next 2 weeks would be tight and I was trying to figure out how far $5.00 would get me for lunch the next week. Not gonna lie for a second I heard "you should have taken pay for that job."  Just a reminder the struggle is real for all of us.

I had just loaded my car with more things I had collected for the homeless and as I was driving out of my apartment complex the thought popped in my head, I wish I had a few dollars for milk and bread. It's not like I was asking for it or even giving it a lot of thought, it just kinda landed in my brain and went on it's way.  I then started thinking about my time with the Lord that morning how He talked about physical obedience bringing spiritual release. I didn't realize at that moment but I was about to experience that truth personally.

I realized I hadn't been to the mailbox in a few days so I stopped on the way out.
I found a letter from one of my friends and fellow jewels reader. He's one of my gems that I can always count on to get an email sharing how my story encouraged him or a text out of the blue just letting me know he and his family were thinking of me.

Right there at that moment God was going to answer my "prayer" without me even really asking.
The best part of what was inside the envelope was a beautiful letter about Koinonia.  This is a quote from that letter.
"Gena, in decades past I said that "relationships are a spiritual thing" and they are; but as we study and learn and grow into who God wants us to be; koinonia is the shape of the invisible wheel God is building both in our life and for His Kingdom."

There was also gift cards to the movies, I just told my kids last night there is a movie I would like to see. There was a gift card for a meal and of course the God of more than enough included a generous check!

There it was, God putting into action the truth He showed me just hours before, obedience brings spiritual release. Be about God's business and He will be about yours.

I drove right to the store after dropping off the things in my car and bought the staples, cereal, milk, eggs and bread. Somehow ice cream appeared in my cart as well :)

But the real food that will last forever was the letter. The words of encouragement and the realization that people still care. It was the agape love: Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God". 

Gems, I pray you will follow the vision and not always the path as you continue your journey and take time to experience koinonia.

Wash That Greed Right Outta My Heart

(This was originally posted in 2009 but thought it was a great Thanksgiving reminder)

For you younger readers this was a jingle from a hair color commercial that said “I’m gonna wash that grey right outta my hair.”

With that said I’m going to tell you a story. I use to think of myself as a very generous person until one day it turned out I wasn’t. As you know every jewel applies to me and it’s kind of sad how much material I give the Lord.

I, like most of you are living by faith and think about every penny I spend. Being the vain woman I apparently am, I was concerned about the skunk streak making its way down the center of my head, another words my grey hair.I could not justify buying hair color over milk but only because my thirsty child was standing next to me. A few days later my sister called to tell me she bought me four boxes of hair color that she got on sale. I was so excited! You would have thought I won a new car. I was praising the Lord for once again being the God of more than enough.
I would have dark brown hair for the next four months and did not have to hold a grudge about buying silly things like milk and bread.

The first and second month went by without a hitch, the problem showed up on month three.  I was telling my roommate that it was time to color my hair and she said “I really need to color mine too.” I am not the only vain woman out there and this gives me comfort.

You can imagine what happened next. The Lord told me to give her my other box of hair color as we used the same one. You would have thought He asked me to give away a new car. I reminded the Lord that after I colored my hair I would only have one box left and if I gave it away I would have none.  I know... I was just as shocked as you are when I heard this conversation. I thought about it and came up with, NO.

If she wanted to color her hair the same God that provided for me could do it for her. This was my spiritual justification. I was so overcome with guilt I told my teenage daughter about this selfish battle going on within me, she just looked at me and said “who are you?”

I could not believe I was holding out on my friend over a two dollar box of hair color!!

I didn’t bother to look in the bible for any scriptures to back up my greed I figured that was a lost cause. I thought about looking up scriptures for my roommate about the sick joke she was playing telling me she needed to color her hair too. I was onto her game; she wasn’t going to jack me out of a box of L'Oréal.

I realized I should have tried Matthew 6:3-4 When I give to the needy I do not let my left hand know what my right hand is doing, so that my giving may be in secret. Then my Father who sees what is done is secret will reward me.

Apparently someone else had this struggle too and decided not to talk about it even with themselves.

The shame and guilt was more than I could stand I stormed out of my room and practically threw the box at my friend. I said “here you can have it, color your hair, I don’t want it.”

My last hope was that she would fight me on this huge sacrifice and great gesture of sharing, but she just smiled and said “thanks.”

I finally got a grip on myself and apologized to God for not being grateful that not only did He provide more than enough but He gave me the chance to bless someone else too. I claimed temporary insanity and was glad to get this greed thing out of my heart.

It’s funny that we can believe God for the big things in life and then get tripped up by something so small. Maybe it’s just a way to let off some emotional steam.

As always my Jesus is sweet to me and ended this conversation on a positive note, He said in

Psalm 34:10 "because I seek the Lord, I shall not lack any beneficial thing." ~  Even hair color!