Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I Wanna Hold Your hand
I came out of church last week and saw the cutest little boy walking with his dad. He had one hand tightly wrapped around his dad’s finger and the other waving in the air hoping to grab a passerby. He was just learning to walk so it was more like the zombie walk, you know legs far apart, knees not bending wobbling from side to side. Actually I have seen some grown men come out of a bar walking very similar to that but that’s another story.
Anyway as I passed by the toddler grabbed for my hand and the dad said “yea he’s still reaching for that other hand to be held even though I got this on.”
This of course got me thinking about all of us and our walk with the Lord. Even though we know He has us, holding our hand so to speak, we are still reaching out for the world to grab the other hand. For some reason we still need the “safety” of knowing the world has us. As if our Heavenly Father’s hand isn’t strong enough to hold onto us.
Isaiah 40:10-11 Behold, the Lord God shall come with a strong hand. And his arm shall rule for Him, and His work before Him. He will feed His flock like a shepherd. And carry them in His bosom. And gently lead those who are with young.
Years ago when my oldest son was going through his rebellious/alien stage and he was involved with drug dealing I had been praying and believing the Lord would work it all out because He promised He would. I was pretty secure in that promise until the Lord tested me on it. Anthony had made yet another poor decision and borrowed money, a lot of money, from these drug dealers. When he could not pay it back when he was supposed to things got ugly. He began getting threatening calls to hurt him and our family. My grandson was just a baby and the thought of someone hurting him was more then I could take. Anthony’s house was broken into and a list of things I just assume forget starting hitting our family. Anthony finally asked me if I could take out a loan against my home to pay off the debt. You have to understand how dangerous this was for Anthony to even ask me to do this. I was a single mom with no one to run to and tell me it would be all better. I was scared and I allowed the fear to become bigger then my God and began to panic. I started imagining all kinds of horrible things happening to my kids and grandson. Every time the phone rang my heart sunk thinking it was the hospital or the police calling with terrible news.
The Lord told me to leave it alone that He would handle it BUT as weeks turned into months and the threats increased my faith began to falter. My son would call me regularly asking if I knew anyone we could borrow the money from.
One day out of the blue I got one of those pre-qualified letters saying all I had to do was sign and they would mail me a check. A big check. This was when the banks were still giving money away to anyone who asked. I held that letter in my hands for a few days knowing the Lord said not to use it. Finally the pressure was more than I could take and I mailed in the letter and within a few days had a check in my hand. I tried to justify that if the Lord didn’t want me to have it I wouldn’t have gotten it but that Gems was a lie and I knew it. The Lord was testing me to see if my faith in Him to handle the situation was real or not. Was I going to hold his hand or grab from the world with the one flailing about.
I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to give the check to my son as I could see the pressure wearing on him as well and he was desperate for me to help him in some way. Seeing my first born struggle like this, even though it was his doing, was so hard for me and I wanted to rescue him with everything in me. I was also worried about my oldest daughter living alone and wanted her to move home.
I called a friend of mine and she met me in a store parking lot and I showed her the check and asked her to pray with me. With tears streaming down my face I begged the Lord to use the money so we could end this nightmare. His answer was loving but firm, no. He reminded me that His way would be better for Anthony and would bring Him glory in the end. Gems we forget that the Lord tells us to praise Him in all things and He shares His glory with no one. As I sat there crying I ripped up the check. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. The Lord proved to me that holding His hand was enough I didn’t need the worlds.
The Lord did amazing things with that event and Anthony was able to witness to these lost men in a way that would have never been possible if we would have just given them the check.
Deuteronomy 3:24 ‘O Lord GOD, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your mighty hand, for what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do anything like Your works and Your mighty deeds?” You see Gems we love the scriptures’ of how God will take care of us and we believe them as long as they happen within our time frame but when we feel God is taking to long we think we need to grab someone else's hand.
Isaiah 59:1 Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened. That it cannot save; nor His ear heavy that it cannot hear.
I have another friend who’s close to retiring and every time she sees me the first thing she asks is if I’m working. I have been in and out of jobs since she’s known me and I think it ruffles her feathers when I’m not working because I don’t worry about it.
I told her I was between jobs at the time and she asked “are you OK with that?” I said yes but I knew she was asking if I thought God was OK with it. I wanted to ask this friend, who has been counting down the days to retirement, if for some reason when she retired her company went bankrupt and there was no retirement pay would she still be OK with the Lord?
Would she still trust that God would provide for her? Would she be angry that she stayed all those years at this company so she could get a retirement and now there was none? Was she holding the Lord’s hand or her companies?
Don’t get me wrong Gems I’m not saying retirement is a bad thing, praise God for those who have been such committed employees but we need to remember that the job and the pay we receive week after week is all from the Lord. He just uses our jobs to send us the money, it’s still His money.
Gems we need to trust that everything that goes on in our lives has gone through the Lord’s hands first and He is more than capable. The question is are we capable of giving praise to Him regardless of the situations we may find ourselves in? Are we willing to not grab what the world may try to offer as a substitute for God’s plan?
Psalm 48:10 According to Your name, O God, So is Your praise to the ends of the earth; Your right hand is full of righteousness. Gems there is a peace that goes beyond understanding when we get to this place of knowing God’s hand is enough. The way you look at everything in life changes when you realize you never were in control and your job is to be obedient and let God be God.
The other night I had the most amazing experience with the Lord. I was in bed, just laying there feeling the Lord’s presence in such an intimate way. I gently fell asleep and would get that jerky feeling and it would wake me up. It happened about 10 times in a row and then I finally fell asleep. The next day I Googled to find out what causes that jerky feeling that wakes us thinking something was wrong with me that it happened so many times. Later the Lord told me HE was waking me up so the moment wouldn't end so soon. He would have continued to feel my presence but I would have fallen asleep and no longer felt His. Is He romantic or what!
Gems this is the kind of relationship Jesus wants to have with all of us. In the wedding ceremony when the groom takes his new brides hand there is no other hand in the picture it’s just the two of them, this is the relationship your Savior wants with you.
Psalm 95:7 For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture, And the sheep of His hand. It may feel weird at first and you may feel a little unsteady like that toddler I saw but your daddy will hold onto you just as tight. So go ahead, reach for it, He wants to hold your hand!
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