Pumpkins & Dragons

I want to tell you a story that happened to me 26 years ago.
I was a young woman with 2 small children going through a divorce. Each day I would drive 30 minutes to my babysitters house to drop off Amanda who was 2 , then to preschool to drop off Anthony who was 3. From there I would drive to work, leave everyday at lunch time to pick Anthony up from preschool take him to the sitter than go back to work. At the end of the day I would pick up both children and drive 30 minutes back home to do dinner, baths and bed and start all over again the next morning.
The preschool Anthony attended was at a church and for some reason his teacher didn't like me.
I know I'm as shocked as you are :)
I don't know what her problem was but she always had this condescending attitude with me. I don't think she approved of me being such a young mother and getting a divorce didn't help.
I was always in a rush and forgot about stuff often as I was an emotional wreck. If Anthony didn't love the school so much I would have taken him somewhere else.
One particular morning I will never forget I was my usual scattered self trying not to cry in front of my kids as we did our morning drive.
I dropped off Amanda at the sitters then proceeded to the preschool.
Anthony and I ran up the stairs because we were late again. When we got to the classroom I looked in and all the kids were in costumes for the Halloween party.
I just froze at the door then looked down at my sweet 3 year olds smiling face and was horrified that I forgot about the party. His teacher came to the door and once again gave me the look of disgust as she ushered Anthony into the classroom.
I freaked out. I felt like the worst mother in the world and obviously confirmed it to my sons teacher.
This was before 24 hour Walmart and there were no department stores between my job and the school, not to mention it was still early. I had no idea what to do.
As I'm driving down the road crying I notice a Walgreens that was recently built and it was open. I ran into the store and the only thing I could find was a pumpkin mask, I bought it.
I drove back to the school and ran back up the stairs to the classroom.
By now all the children were in full party mode admiring one anothers costumes. I called Anthony and he came out to the hall. I very excitedly held out the mask and said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, “your a pumpkin!” He grabbed the mask and had the biggest smile I had ever seen. He ran into the classroom and proudly announced to everyone “I'M A PUMPKIN!”
I turned and walked down the stairs to leave. When I reached the bottom step I heard the sweetest voice call out “mommy” I turned around and standing at the top of the stairs was my little pumpkin with his mask pulled up and he said “thank you mommy.”
It is a memory I will treasure forever.
Fast forward 24 years.
That same son is staying with me for a while with my two grandsons. I try to stay out of his way in the morning when he's getting the boys ready for school so I'm not a distraction. I stay in my room till just before they leave then I come out to say goodbye.

OK I have to take a side journey here for a minute. A couple of weeks before the story I'm going to tell you happened a friend of mine gave me some clothes for my youngest grandson Lucas. She also gave me a dragon costume which I told her to keep because we wouldn't need it and it was a really nice costume. She told me to take it anyway and I hesitated but then put it in my car with the rest of the clothes.
I figured I would bring it to the Soup kitchen for one of the kids I see there. The night I went to soup kitchen I went to take the costume out of my car but decided not to. I didn't realize God was already working something out for me.

OK back to my story. I woke up on Friday morning and for some reason Lucas was heavily on my mind. The Holy Spirit told me to come out of my room before the boys left for school. I was listening to the commotion going on outside the door and could tell Anthony had his hands full. I thought me coming out there might not be helpful so I hesitated. Again I heard the Holy Spirit say go out there and this time I listened.
I hugged the boys as my son was rushing to get them out the door to catch the bus.
A few minutes after they left I noticed a paper on the kitchen table and picked it up (Holy Spirit at work) I read the paper and it was from Lucas' teacher reminding the parents about he character parade at school that morning and for the children to make sure they had their costume as they would be going around the whole school.
I ran to the door to catch my son because I knew he didn't know anything about this but it was too late they were gone.
I went to my room to get my phone to call him and as I'm looking for my phone I hear the door open and in walks my son.
I was surprised he was back because I knew they were already late. I asked why he came back and he said in an exasperated voice that he forgot something (Holy Spirit at work)
I showed him the paper and asked if he knew about the parade and as you may have guessed he didn't. He asked where I found the paper.
Gems that paper was not only on the table where he fed the boys it was printed on neon green paper which is what caught my eye AND it was in front of Lucas' chair.
My son didn't see it (maybe it wasn't there) but My God who cares about every detail of our lives made sure I did.
My son had no time to fix this dilemma as the bus would be there in 10 minutes and the parade would start soon after the kids arrived at school.
I asked Lucas (he's 5) what kind of costume he was supposed to have and he said a fairytale one.
Guess what was in my car? That's right a dragon costume. Not only did we have a costume but it fit him perfectly.
I quickly ran to my car pulled out the costume and handed it to Lucas. His whole face lit up and he gave me the biggest smile.
I had a flash back as I had seen that smile before.
I looked over to my son and he mouthed out “thank you mom.”
For just a moment he was five years old holding a pumpkin mask. I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I relived that moment.
Later that morning I told Anthony the story of his costume day and we praised the Lord for His mercy and kindness.
Anthony met Lucas at the school and watched his little dragon in the parade.
Lucas thought his dad was a hero just as my boy thought I was a hero but the true hero was and is God.
Gems God cares about every aspect of our lives the big details and the little ones.
You may be thinking it was just a dumb costume and it wasn't life threatening but to a parent whose going through a hard time it's scenarios like that the devil uses to make you feel like a failure.
The Bible says the Lord will work all things out for the good to those who love Him.
I'm glad that working out includes pumpkins and dragons :)

Annoying Card

I was reading in 1st Samuel 12 last night and in the story Samuel is speaking to Saul, the new King, and the people of Israel. He lets them know they sinned because they wanted a King to rule over them more than wanting God as their ruler.
As always I suggest you read the story for all the details. Bottom line is Samuel does not agree with what they did and calls it what it was, sin.
The teaching point here is how he ends his conversation with the people.
1 Samuel 12:23 As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right.
You see it doesn’t matter what we think or feel about a person or what they are doing the only thing that matters is God’s will for their life. Our only responsibility is to pray God’s will for our brothers and sisters whether they are sinning in God’s eyes or not.
I want to focus on how we treat our brothers and sisters. Do we pray for them from a heart of how we feel about them or about what God’s heart is for them? Especially when they are doing something we don’t agree with.
Sometimes our brothers and sisters, like Saul, are just being down right disobedient. Other times they just aren’t doing what we think they should but not necessarily wrong.
God’s will can look pretty weird at times from the human perspective.
It’s important that we love each other through the hard times and not get judgmental.
I try to use the saying “remember what it was like in the darkness when you get to the light”
Years ago I was very involved with the church I attended. I worked in the nursery, with the youth; I taught Sunday school and was the president of the Woman's ministry. At church I seemed to have it all together but at home my life was a mess.
My teenagers were out of control and my marriage was falling apart.
I got a call one day from the superintendent of the Sunday school department who was also a pastor. I assumed he was calling to tell me about a meeting but I was wrong.
He called to tell me “he heard” I was getting a divorce and pretty much fired me from all my responsibilities.
Now hear my heart Gems, I’m not giving this example to bash the church, the truth is I think when your world is falling apart it’s a good idea to step down from leadership and allow yourself time to heal. My problem was the hurtful and insensitive way they did it.
They said “they heard” so at this point they didn’t even know if it was true. Then they fired me instead of asking what they could do to help. There was no offer of prayer or assistance.
I felt like an orphan as I had been a part of this church for years and to me they were family.
Gems we are family! We are one church, one bride one people.
We have to put aside our opinions and feelings and ask God how He wants us to pray.
This Sunday I at the church and at the end of the service our pastor told us to think of a person who gets on our nerves, you know the person you try not to make eye contact with or avoid if you see them in the grocery store.
We were to write their name on a 3x5 card, pray for the person and ask the Holy Spirit for the power to love them.
After we did that we were supposed to lay the card down at the cross in front of the church.
I sat there for a few minutes and could not think of anyone's name to write on the card.
Don’t get me wrong other times in my life I could have someone’s name in a second and maybe next week I would too but for that moment I could not think of anyone.
I should have left well enough alone but NOOOO I got on my pride horse and started telling myself how much I’ve grown and how I have learned to love people and bla bla bla.
That night I was still in my pride world and had the audacity to bring it up to the Lord.
I actually brought it to His attention!
I said “Lord, I could not think of anyone to put on that annoying card” (pat on the back) and the Lord said “that’s good that you couldn’t think of anyone to write on that card but what makes you think your name wasn’t on plenty of other peoples cards?” OUCH!!
I had to really take that in for a minute. After I shut my mouth I asked the Lord to forgive me and I prayed that the Holy Spirit would convict me when I was becoming the annoying name on someones card.
It’s easy to get self righteous when you’re trying to walk in obedience, when you have reached the light so to speak. As I said don’t forget what it was like in the darkness.
I’m not saying we should condone bad behavior but conviction is the Holy Spirit’s job and judgment belongs to God.
One way to become the annoying person is to become judgmental to people who need us.
We need to pray God’s will for our brothers and sisters in love. If you can’t get the love in your own strength that’s completely understandable that’s why we have the power of the Holy Spirit. We need to have faith in each other.
Paul writes in Philippians 1:6(Amplified Bible)
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.
Notice Paul doesn’t say the good work in me but in you. We often quote that verse “He who began a good work in me” but that’s not what Paul said.
He believed in people no matter where they were in their spiritual journey. He believed God would complete His work (not ours) in people.
Verse 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
Paul loved people deeply notice he says with the affection of Christ. He’s comparing his love to Christ's love! That’s a pretty deep love.
It wasn’t like everyone was loving him back. In case you don’t know Paul’s writing this from prison and the crime was preaching the gospel. Some people preached the word just to get Paul in trouble.
Phil 1:15-17 It's true that some here preach Christ because with me out of the way, they think they'll step right into the spotlight. But the others do it with the best heart in the world. One group is motivated by pure love, knowing that I am here defending the Message, wanting to help. The others, now that I'm out of the picture, are merely greedy, hoping to get something out of it for themselves. Their motives are bad. They see me as their competition, and so the worse it goes for me, the better—they think—for them. (Message Bible)
If anyone had the right to pull the self righteous card it was Paul but he stayed focused on the task at hand, God’s will.
So Gems next time you come down too hard on your brother or sister ask forgiveness and pray for them.
Take it from me don’t start telling God what a great job your doing or you may just end up on the annoying card.
Use wisdom. James 3:17-18 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Life Ingredients

Well it happened, I turned 50 today and I gotta tell ya Gems my emotions are all over the place.
The good news is I'm in Tennessee, my favorite place. Seeing the mountains and hearing the sound of rivers flowing is the best medication for what ails ya!
My life is beyond full right now. Should God decide it's time for me to come home I would leave a woman who found the true meaning of life and the ingredients to get there.
Pretty impressive hu?
I am a woman that started as a young girl who experienced heart ache and disappointment. I grew to a teenager who experienced insecurity and stupidity. I continued to a young woman who experienced being a wife and mother. I moved on to an older woman who once again experienced being a wife and mother. My status is currently a divorced mother with four children.
You may think these are not ingredients for a successful life and you would be right.
Being successful and knowing who you are comes from what you do with the ingredients you have.
Like I said I turned the big 5 0 today and I want to tell you what my children did for me. They rented a cabin in the mountains of TN that I took them to 4 years ago on vacation. They researched on line from pictures they found that we took years ago. They reserved the same cabin only this time it would be complete with my grandsons. They paid for everything and called my job to make sure I could have the time off from work. They contacted my friends and told them about the trip. Some friends sent money and cards to help with the celebration and many sent messages with birthday wishes. I could not have asked for a more amazing birthday. Truly the only day that will be more special than this is when I get home to my sweet Jesus.
I took as many pictures as possible to savor the memories and recapture the excitement in every one's faces. I think we had 91 pictures before we even got to the cabin.
My oldest son turned 30 in August and my girls both have birthdays this week but this trip was all about my 50 year celebration!
We've played games, eaten junk food, watched movies, sang worship songs, shopped and right now 4 of the 6 are riding horses.
People tell me how lucky I am to have such great kids but let me tell you Gems it had nothing to do with luck.
It has to do with what I decided to do with my ingredients. I chose to pour myself into my family. I sacrificed “my world” to give them “their world.” I grew as a christian so they would have a better mother. Not perfect but someone trying to resemble the perfect parent, our Heavenly Father.
I did tough love that was harder for me than any job description you can imagine. I have laughed with my children and cried with them. I have yelled at them and asked forgiveness for being a butt head. I have said no to more invitations than I can count and said yes to as many school activities as I could.
I didn't live with someone that wasn't their parent regardless of what the world said was acceptable. I was the mother and the father, the kisser of boo boos and the paddler of butts. I tried not to do what my parents did and probably went too far the other way.
I wasn't the perfect parent and I didn't raise the perfect kids but in spite of it all, we know who we are. We are a family. Not a single mom or divorced or step family, we are a family that learned how to love no matter what ingredients were poured in at the time.
What are my ingredients today October 4th 2010? I am a woman who loves the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
I'm a woman who is trying to look more and more like Jesus. A woman who loves my friends and pray I am an inspiration to them. A woman who loves meeting new people and has decided not to wear any other label than free.
I am free to make right choices, free to laugh at silly jokes and myself. Free to choose to like my job, co workers, or whatever situation I'm in at the time. Free to sing as loud as I want or dance as intimate with Jesus as I desire.
Free to allow myself to love my life and who God has created me to be.
Who we are will be different for each of us but I think the key is not to label yourself or say it's supposed to be this way or that.
You are not married or single or widowed or a mother or father or aunt or uncle you are an individual walking out your journey. It's supposed to be you living your journey with the Lord and embracing everyone He puts in your path as the gift they are. You learning how to love and keep changing your ingredients to have a sweeter life than before.
There's an old saying you "can pick your friends but you can't pick your family" I say you can pick your family :)
I'm sitting in the parking lot of the horse riding stable on the top of a mountain typing on this computer and listening to the country music playing outside. I'm thinking about my kids and the friends the Lord has given me. Of the Gems who read Gena's Jewels and the very breath that fills my lungs. And all I can say is, thank you Lord for giving me my hearts desire, to experience a full life and to know the meaning of love.
“When your out there gettin where you gettin to I hope you know somebody loves you.” (Rascal Flatts)
That somebody is Yeshua, Jesus, The son of God your creator.
My life has been a gift from God and how I live it will be my gift back to Him.
True love means to leave this place knowing you were loved by somebody and loved somebody back.
Thank you Anthony, Amanda, Nathanael, Jessica, Anthony Jacob, and Lucas Andrew for giving me the best birthday ever!