Life Ingredients

Well it happened, I turned 50 today and I gotta tell ya Gems my emotions are all over the place.
The good news is I'm in Tennessee, my favorite place. Seeing the mountains and hearing the sound of rivers flowing is the best medication for what ails ya!
My life is beyond full right now. Should God decide it's time for me to come home I would leave a woman who found the true meaning of life and the ingredients to get there.
Pretty impressive hu?
I am a woman that started as a young girl who experienced heart ache and disappointment. I grew to a teenager who experienced insecurity and stupidity. I continued to a young woman who experienced being a wife and mother. I moved on to an older woman who once again experienced being a wife and mother. My status is currently a divorced mother with four children.
You may think these are not ingredients for a successful life and you would be right.
Being successful and knowing who you are comes from what you do with the ingredients you have.
Like I said I turned the big 5 0 today and I want to tell you what my children did for me. They rented a cabin in the mountains of TN that I took them to 4 years ago on vacation. They researched on line from pictures they found that we took years ago. They reserved the same cabin only this time it would be complete with my grandsons. They paid for everything and called my job to make sure I could have the time off from work. They contacted my friends and told them about the trip. Some friends sent money and cards to help with the celebration and many sent messages with birthday wishes. I could not have asked for a more amazing birthday. Truly the only day that will be more special than this is when I get home to my sweet Jesus.
I took as many pictures as possible to savor the memories and recapture the excitement in every one's faces. I think we had 91 pictures before we even got to the cabin.
My oldest son turned 30 in August and my girls both have birthdays this week but this trip was all about my 50 year celebration!
We've played games, eaten junk food, watched movies, sang worship songs, shopped and right now 4 of the 6 are riding horses.
People tell me how lucky I am to have such great kids but let me tell you Gems it had nothing to do with luck.
It has to do with what I decided to do with my ingredients. I chose to pour myself into my family. I sacrificed “my world” to give them “their world.” I grew as a christian so they would have a better mother. Not perfect but someone trying to resemble the perfect parent, our Heavenly Father.
I did tough love that was harder for me than any job description you can imagine. I have laughed with my children and cried with them. I have yelled at them and asked forgiveness for being a butt head. I have said no to more invitations than I can count and said yes to as many school activities as I could.
I didn't live with someone that wasn't their parent regardless of what the world said was acceptable. I was the mother and the father, the kisser of boo boos and the paddler of butts. I tried not to do what my parents did and probably went too far the other way.
I wasn't the perfect parent and I didn't raise the perfect kids but in spite of it all, we know who we are. We are a family. Not a single mom or divorced or step family, we are a family that learned how to love no matter what ingredients were poured in at the time.
What are my ingredients today October 4th 2010? I am a woman who loves the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
I'm a woman who is trying to look more and more like Jesus. A woman who loves my friends and pray I am an inspiration to them. A woman who loves meeting new people and has decided not to wear any other label than free.
I am free to make right choices, free to laugh at silly jokes and myself. Free to choose to like my job, co workers, or whatever situation I'm in at the time. Free to sing as loud as I want or dance as intimate with Jesus as I desire.
Free to allow myself to love my life and who God has created me to be.
Who we are will be different for each of us but I think the key is not to label yourself or say it's supposed to be this way or that.
You are not married or single or widowed or a mother or father or aunt or uncle you are an individual walking out your journey. It's supposed to be you living your journey with the Lord and embracing everyone He puts in your path as the gift they are. You learning how to love and keep changing your ingredients to have a sweeter life than before.
There's an old saying you "can pick your friends but you can't pick your family" I say you can pick your family :)
I'm sitting in the parking lot of the horse riding stable on the top of a mountain typing on this computer and listening to the country music playing outside. I'm thinking about my kids and the friends the Lord has given me. Of the Gems who read Gena's Jewels and the very breath that fills my lungs. And all I can say is, thank you Lord for giving me my hearts desire, to experience a full life and to know the meaning of love.
“When your out there gettin where you gettin to I hope you know somebody loves you.” (Rascal Flatts)
That somebody is Yeshua, Jesus, The son of God your creator.
My life has been a gift from God and how I live it will be my gift back to Him.
True love means to leave this place knowing you were loved by somebody and loved somebody back.
Thank you Anthony, Amanda, Nathanael, Jessica, Anthony Jacob, and Lucas Andrew for giving me the best birthday ever!