Without Fear

Well Gems it has been another crazy couple of weeks. I was at my parent’s house for my weekly twilight zone experience and my father was freaking out because the clicker (TV remote) was missing again…. He was yelling at me to find it and to look in the front yard or the refrigerator because he knows my mother put it somewhere. She of course is yelling at the same time that she never touched it and that she doesn’t touch anything. Funny thing is I put my car keys on the table and went to check the laundry and when I came back they were gone. Someone, I’m not mentioning any names, had moved them to her purse. Mail, money and other objects have also been missing.
My father has a suspended drivers license, he can’t’ see, but continues to drive. I had to take my mom’s car from her as she too continued to drive after the doctor told her not to. That was way harder emotionally than I thought it would be for both of us.
It’s not natural to be making decisions for your parents and making them do things they don’t want to do.
My father called the sheriff to have me arrested for stealing the car. When the sheriff said he couldn’t arrest me for stealing the car my father changed the charges to trespassing. He then demanded I pick him up another prescription of puffers (inhalers)and bring them over as soon as possible. How he expected me to do this from jail I don’t know…

The worst part was I was hoping the Sheriff would put a scare in my father to keep him from driving the problem was they sent out a rookie. Really nice kid but a kid none the less. My father asked him how long he was on the force and when he answered this was my father’s response “I’ve driven more in reverse than you have forward” he was not the least bit intimidated by this kid. I was feeling completely overwhelmed by them, maybe prison wasn’t such a bad idea.
On Monday morning Kimberly a teller from my mother’s bank called to tell me my father brought my mother into the bank and demanded all the accounts be closed. I could just picture him with a bandanna over his face waving a fake pistol in the air. My mother has alzheimer's, if she had any idea what he was saying she would have slapped him. They finally had to agree to give him a withdraw from the account to get him out of the bank. I later spoke to a woman at his bank who also had a run in with the masked man demanding money from his account. When the teller asked what he was going to do with it he told her he was taking the money out so his wife wouldn’t know where it was. This confused the teller as his wife was standing next to him.....
They too gave him what he wanted to get him out of the bank.
One of the many problems with these incidents is this is the money I use to pay their bills.
I was once again feeling overwhelmed because trying to take care of my parents from so far away is not working and I still have not found a solution to this problem.
I sent out an email to my prayer warriors to pray for me. If you don’t have people you can ask to pray for you, get some.
I felt like God wasn’t answering me so maybe He would answer them.
I told my prayer women I was feeling weak and even as I typed it on the page it ticked me off.
The Lord showed me that even though I said He was in control I was relying on my own strength and that strength of course wasn’t cutting it.
The Holy Spirit showed me it was a pride issue for me not wanting to be weak never less admitting it.
When I began to rely on myself it opened the door for fear. Once I realized that, the Lord was able to start speaking. First He spoke through my friend Vangie reminding me that when I am weak He is strong.
Tuesday morning I headed to the VA to speak with a social worker then back on the road visiting assisted living places.
Before I left I grabbed a bag for all my stuff and the writing on the bag was Psalm 34:4 I will walk in freedom not in fear.
This put a bounce in my step and I left feeling way more confident. Nothing in my circumstances had changed but I was feeling a renewed strength as this time I was reminded the outcome was not my job.
The next morning when I got to work my daily calendar said There is no room in love for fear. Well formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life-fear of death, fear of judgment-is one not yet fully formed in love.
1John 4:18
Again God was speaking to me about fear.
That night I got an email from my other prayer warrior Betty with Psalm 91, one of my favorites. If you’re feeling overwhelmed too, read it.
All in all it was God’s way of letting me know He heard me and reminding me not to fear just do what I can and leave the rest up to Him.
I don’t know about you Gems but I seem to have to keep reminding myself of that.
I have another doctor appointment next week for my father and I can only imagine what that day will be like. I don’t know the outcome but I do know I will begin and end the day without fear.
To be continued..............