Voices In My Head

I was at the beach this weekend with part of my family. We met friends there and just had a great time. It was nearing the end of the weekend and my son Anthony and I were loading the car. Anthony had just put the beach chairs and cooler into the car and I was headed back to the room we stayed in to get the last of our stuff.
On the way up the stairs to the room I had one of those thoughts that pop in your head out of no where, ya know what I mean? Like your not thinking about any particular thing then all of a sudden BAM you have this thought.
It wasn't a good thought I can tell you that and instead of thinking something else I thought more about the negative thought. Each step I climbed I added to my thought of negativeness and it got worse and worse. By the time I got to the room, made my way back down the stairs and returned to the car and my unsuspecting son it got ugly.
Mind you his mother that left him a few minutes before was all happy and smiles about the great time the family just had but the mom who came back was, well a lunatic.
It started off small I was grumbling and complaining under my breath and Anthony made the mistake of asking what was wrong. I then started yelling at him that as usual I was the one carrying EVERYTHING!
In reality I had two small bags, one in each hand. Did I mention he just loaded all the chairs and the cooler?
I shot him an aggravated look and he looked at me like who is this woman and what happened to my mother?
One of the things I love about Anthony is he doesn't react to my psychotic behavior in the flesh. What I mean is he doesn't get defensive and just bark back at me. He could have, you might say he even had the right to but he chose not to.
He reminded me that he just put stuff in the car and then with a sheepish grin started messing with me. He said things like “OK mom how did psycho woman get out? What happened when you went up the stairs?” He then looked me in the eye and said “I'm going to walk away now, would you prefer I do left right left or right left right” as he motioned to his legs while slowly walking to put a safe distance between us.
I started laughing because I knew I was yelling at him for no reason.
When I played the last few minutes back in my mind I realized how crazy the whole scene looked and I burst out laughing. I apologized for being a freak and we both had a good laugh.
One of the things I love about our family is we can forgive and forget quickly and move on .
Gems the enemy put a thought in my head and at that very moment I could have recognized it was from the devil and replaced it and psycho woman would not have been released.
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
We have to take those thoughts captive. Our mind is where most battles begin and end. That whole conversation I had was in my head, scary place.
How many times have you had that happen? Have a thought in your own mind and it leads to an argument to the first unsuspecting soul that crosses your path.
In war you take prisoners captive and lock them up. Why? Because if you capture your enemy and let him walk freely next to you chances are you'll end up dead.
Same results with thoughts. If you don't take them captive they can kill a relationship. You start thinking people are doing and saying things to you and before you know it your thoughts become your reality but there is no truth to them.
I had the first thought and just started building on it. The scene in my head got bigger and bigger till I had a movie playing in my mind,the problem was I was playing all the roles and none of them were good.
Gems I think we are all guilty of this scenario at some time in our lives . We may not always be as lucky as I was in this jewel. If you have someone that is easily offended or is having voices in their own head and you collide it can get pretty ugly.
The next time this happens to you, or me, let's remember to do what the Bible says and take captive every thought that's not from God. It's guaranteed to drown out the negative voices in our head and replace them with positive ones.

Love um til they hate ya

I had a very sweet moment happen at my Bible study this week. Apparently the week before I was sharing a story about my past when my oldest were teens and it made an impact on a sweet young woman in my group.
She told me that when she was going through her rebellious stage she never thought about how it impacted her mom.
This took me back to a very turbulent time in my life so I thought I would share it with you and perhaps give hope to some parents out there.
In 1997 I was going through a divorce. I had 4 children that I was totally responsible for, I had to go back to work and leave my youngest less than a year old with a baby sitter. I had to sell my house, find the job and the baby sitter, find a new home and be the mother of two challenging (to put in nicely) teens.
I have shared with you before about Anthony and his drug days but I want to share a conversation I had with him one day.
We were sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot after he got out of jail and I asked him why he did this to me. I of course felt like it was my fault being divorced not once but twice and having my own share of problems. I had major mommy guilt. What he said took me by surprise.
He said he never thought of me, that I wasn’t even in the equation. He wanted to party and have money, it was about him not me.
WHAT how was I not in the equation?? He was my whole equation. He was my first born, my baby. I dedicated my life to being his mommy. I went to school functions and class trips. I rode rides that made me sick and hosted birthday parties. I went to every soccer game and dealt with smelly boys during their sleep over’s.
I made costumes and graduation cakes. I took prom pictures and stayed up all night waiting for him to come home. I helped with cars and jobs.
I chased drug dealers and got chased by drug dealers. Lost “friends” lost weight and to be honest at times lost my mind.
He consumed me and I wasn’t even in his thought process!!!
WHAT THE HECK!!!!
In a weird way this brought me some sort of comfort. At least he wasn’t on a mission to kill me. Gems you have to realize when your kids are doing drugs or alcohol they are completely selfish and only thinking of themselves. It’s a time when you want to push them away but a time they need you the most. If you don’t fight for your child no one else will.
I spent hours on my face before the Lord praying for my teens with no return on my investment from them at that time.
I experienced tough love first hand. I sent them to New York for a summer to get them away from the environment for a while hoping that would help. They hated me for sending them but I loved them enough to do it. I kicked them out of the house when they wouldn’t line up with the rules; I still had two small children at home that I was raising. They hated me for it but I loved them enough to do it. I left my son in jail when he called to be bailed out. He hated me for leaving him there but I loved him enough to do it.
Gems the hardest thing to do as a parent is say NO. You are only enabling them if you keep trying to “fix” them. You have to let them crash and burn and trust God to do the rest.
This sweet girl told me what I shared made her realize she never saw things from her mom’s side. It was a realization she hadn't considered and I believe a breakthrough in a way for her. Being a mom now and an amazing one at that she sees things different. She told me she called and thanked her mom for standing by her all those years ago. I gotta tell ya Gems it melted my heart.
I remembered my own children having that conversation with me and thanking me and it made it all worthwhile.
I want to encourage you whatever part of your journey you’re in. Make the tough decisions even if your love makes them hate you.
It will be well worth the investment :)

Trick Questions

Have you ever wondered why when someone asked Jesus a question He didn't just give a simple answer? Like when the woman from the well asked if He wanted water He answered with “I have water that will make you never thirst again.” Was this a trick question?
Or when He told His disciples they would have to eat His body and drink His blood. You have to admit this must have freaked them out at times.
There's a story in Luke where John the Baptist hears about Jesus and he sends a couple of his disciples to ask “are you the one I have been preaching about or should I be expecting someone else?”
Luke 7:19 Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Simple question right? He just wants to know if Jesus is the Messiah or not. John just needed a yes or no but this is the response Jesus gives.
20 When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’ 21 At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. 22 So he replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor.
Why do you think Jesus answered that way? Glad you asked :)
Jesus knew that John the Baptist was a mighty man of God and that He studied the law and the prophets. John knew that the Messiah would be able to do certain things to prove he was the son of God because John knew what Isaiah proclaimed. John was eagerly expecting what God said was going to happen. The prophet told what things the son of God would be able to do so when the word matched up with the man he believed it was him.
Isaiah 29:18-19 In that day the deaf will hear the words of the scroll,
and out of gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind will see.
Once more the humble will rejoice in the LORD; the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 35:5-6 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.
John's disciples asked Jesus if He was the one and He could have just said yes but He did what He always did He responded with God's word knowing that John would understand.
All of the things Isaiah the prophet wrote that the Messiah would do were being done by Jesus.
Later in Jesus ministry He was trying to comfort His disciples about His leaving them. He was assuring them that even though He had to leave He would be back for them.
John 14:2-3
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
A Rabbi I met years ago explained this verse to me and why the Jews not only understood it but were comforted by it.
Unlike today where we all want our own homes a Jewish family lived together in one big house. As the family got bigger they would add on a room so after a few generations of a family living together the house would have a lot of additions or a lot of rooms.
When a young man asked a woman to marry him he and his family would begin to build on another room to the home. After the marriage the bride and groom would move in with his parents. The father would decide when it was time for the son to go get his bride. No one knew when that would be not even the son however the bride knew the son would come for her and bring her back to his home.
Well the bride to be also lived in a house with many rooms so if the groom's father said tonight you can go get your bride the groom would go to his fiance's home to find her but the problem was there would be so many rooms he wouldn't know which one was hers.
The custom was the soon to be virgin bride would keep a lamp burning in her window 24 hours a day so no matter when her future husband came he would know which room was hers.
Do you remember the story about the 10 virgins?
Matthew 25:1-13 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. “At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’ “‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’ 10 “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’ “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’ “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.
The Jews understood this scripture because it related to the life they were living. Jesus used stories they could relate to to explain God's plan.
Today if we ask the question is Jesus coming back we can still use these same scriptures because God's word is the same yesterday today and tomorrow.
Yes Jesus went to Heaven and yes He's coming back for us. We are His bride and He is our bridegroom. We too don't know the day or time He will come for us so we need to be ready. We need to keep oil in our lamp or Gena translation have a relationship with Jesus to make sure He knows us.
Jesus disciples wanted to know what signs to look for so they would know when He was coming back. We don't know the day or hour either but we do know there will be signs given to us so we know when it's getting close. God uses the example of a pregnant woman because every culture can relate to that. He says there will be a beginning to the signs like the initial birth pains in labor.
Matthew 24:4-14 Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
Just like John the Baptist knew by the scriptures what to expect regarding Christ's arrival we know what things to expect before Christ return.
It's not a trick question or a trick answer.
Jesus is still answering our questions using God's word, but if your not reading it you won't know the answers. John would not have known for sure that Jesus was the Messiah if he didn't know God's word. You won't know who the real Messiah is and who the false ones are if you don't read God's word.
There's a lot more to read on the subject but too much for this jewel. I encourage you to read your Bible and know the signs of our Lord's return and like those wise virgins be ready so when the door is shut your on the inside of it. The question of Christ return is not a trick question so don't get tricked with false answers. Be like John and know what the prophets tell you.

Fake It Til You Make It

My nails were really bugging me the other day. I don’t have the prettiest finger nails and a manicure wasn’t in the budget so I decided to buy a pack of pre stick nails. They look so pretty on my hands and from a distance they look real. OK, from a far distance they look real. The problem is when my hands got anywhere near my head strands of hair would get stuck in the glue under the nail. I could either rip my hair out of my head or rip the nail off my finger.
I paid five whole dollars for these nails! I now have a small bald spot on the side of my head.
It’s a bit embarrassing when your hair is stuck to your fingernails. Sorry men you will just have to take my word for this.
I went to work wearing a new black dress and my fake French manicure nails feeling pretty good about myself until one of the nails started to fall off. I decided to tape it back on with scotch tape. A few minutes later I looked in a mirror and realized the color of my sleeveless dress was bleeding onto my armpit. Did I mention my dress was black? So here I was with falling off fake nails, strands of hair attached to them, one with scotch tape and black armpits. What a site!
My daughter told me I had attained ghetto. Honestly Gems these things do not seem that crazy in my head but as I write them I truly begin to worry about myself :)

This scene reminded me of a time when I was a marketing rep and I was at a business women’s breakfast that I didn’t feel adequate to attend in the first place. I only went to market new business. I had on black dress pants that zipped on the side. When I went into the bathroom I realized my pants were on backwards. This could only mean I had a fat stomach or a flat butt, either one was not good.
Back to my original story…
As always s the Lord gave me a jewel to my dilemma. He reminded me that putting on fake nails and trying to pull it off like they are real will not work anymore than acting like you have no problems because you’re a Christian.
From a distance you may look real, for instance you may go to church on Sunday mention Jesus here or there or sing in the choir. But what if someone were to follow you around more closely what would they see? Would things start to get stuck to the ”you “underneath? Kind of like the glue under my fake nails.
It’s suddenly not as attractive or appealing to have your real stuff hanging off your Christian facade.
Gems sometimes Christians act like they have it all together and they don’t let people see the real them. We feel like we can’t let people know when we’re struggling because we are a Christian. We begin this facade about who we really are because we think there’s some expectation we need to live up to. We should attract people to us but once they get a close up look they should realize we’re not perfect but we are real.
I went up to the school for a Mother’s Day tea with my youngest grandson but before I went to his class I sat with my older grandson for breakfast in the school cafeteria. I struck up a conversation with the little boy sitting next to my grandson and asked his name. As soon as I did the boy next to him said “my names Harvey, and I’m nice.” He looked at me like I might not believe him and said it again “I really am nice” he held an apple and explained “this is for my teacher!”
He was nice and he had an apple to prove it, he was not faking it.

How great it would be if we could be that honest with each other.
Hi, I’m Gena and I love God but sometimes I’m a ninny head.

We all struggle with things in our life. Some are big like drugs or sexual addictions and some are smaller in comparison like little white lies or gossiping but they are all things that when the world sees them they make Christians look fake.
Maybe we have been looking at fake Christians so long we have a hard time seeing a real one.

I have a family portrait from years ago and we are all smiling in the picture but the truth is we were miserable. Actually my ex husband and I had a HUGE fight an hour before that picture was taken and it was all we could do to stand next to each other never less smile.
Gems if you learn anything from reading Gena’s jewels I pray you will learn it’s OK to be real. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not for God to love me and neither do you. I pray daily for the power of the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to do the right thing and I know God forgives me when I mess up.
Let’s not let the church become a pack of fake nails. Jesus said in Luke 5:32 I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
That’s all of us!
What I learned from my nails is there’s nothing better than the real thing. While I had them on they got in the way, they pulled out my hair, they were fragile and kept me at a distance from those around me. Up close I wasn’t fooling anyone. When I pulled them all off my fingers worked a whole lot better.
It’s just like sin, when you stay in it it leads to heart ache, rejection, isolation and phoniness. When you act like you have none it keeps you from looking real and keeps you from getting close to others.
When you take it off and give it to God He forgives you and frees you to forgive yourself and others.
We don’t have to fake it to make it we just have to be real and God will do the rest.