I had something really exciting happen last week. Some of you may have heard but for the rest, I had my first paid speaking engagement! I was so excited about it I posted an announcement on Facebook! The Lord told me years ago I would be a crier for Him. When He first said it I thought he meant crier like crying and I wasn't totally thrilled. The Holy Spirit went on to say I would cry out the gospel to lost and hurt people. I liked that plan better.
I have been speaking for quite some time whether at small groups in my home, at my church or when asked to meet with groups at other churches but it has always been on a volunteer basis. I'm not complaining it's just what it has been. My hearts desire however is to have speaking be a way I make a living. Those of you who know me know it's the shutting up I have the problem with :)
I'll get real here with you. These are some of the thoughts I have when I'm dreaming big. It would be nice to actually drive to see someone or a group and know I have enough gas in my car to get there. It would be nice to have my people call your people and set up a lunch appointment. It would be nice to have a microphone sometimes so I'm not screaming at people. It would be nice to have someone carry in my table, chair, sign and books instead of me so when I get up to speak I'm not sweating my face off. It would be nice to have my hair and nails done before I speak or have someone do my makeup so when I'm wearing lipstick it doesn't look like I just ate spaghetti sauce. You know what I'm saying.
I have been speaking into peoples lives for over 20 years and have never given up the dream of doing this for a living. I need you to follow me here because I'm not bragging I am truly beyond humbled and honored anytime the Lord let's me speak into one of His children's lives.
With that said, I gotta tell ya Gems I was so excited when I got a check for speaking and was able to put gas in my car for the next appointment. I hope it's the beginning of more opportunities to do what I love and get paid for it.
Gems, I'm not unlike any of you that dream about my future. I dream of speaking to larger crowds and having more financial blessings.
There are so many people out there hurting and needing to hear a word from God, He needs all of us to do our part. This got me thinking about Jesus and a verse in Matthew.
Matthew 9:36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Read it again from the Message Bible
Matthew 9:36 Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd.
Jesus felt compassion for the people, His heart was broke when He looked over the sea of people that so desperately needed a Savior. That so desperately needed Him. Because He is Jesus He knew exactly what each person was suffering with or from. He knew every tear that was shed and every harmful word that was spoken to EVERY person in that crowd! You can see why His heart would be breaking.
Honestly I could not bare to know all that hurt at once. That can only be handled by Jesus but, it would still be great to be used by God in a large setting. Like Joyce Meyer or Beth Moore, no I'm not comparing myself to them but hey you might as well dream big right?
Today however, I had an experience that reminded me of something very special. How very important it is for intimate moments with people. I had the privilege of giving a word of encouragement to a beautiful woman today. As we sat and drank coffee together God revealed things to me to share with her. These were things only He would know about. It was a way to show her that Jesus not only saw her wounded heart, He also wanted to speak to the exact location of the wound. The place that we become experts at hiding. A place we would never share in front of a bunch of people we don't know.
Because there wasn't a large crowd and I wasn't up on a stage we were able to have face to face, eye to eye contact. For just a moment I could see into her soul and she could see the eyes of Jesus looking back at her. Let me explain that.
This is part of a verse in the Bible where Jesus is speaking to His disciples,
Matthew 9bAnyone who has seen me has seen the Father.
The people were saying they had never seen God and Jesus responds with the above verse. I started really thinking about His words and hoped that verse was true about me. Since Jesus now lives in me I should be able to say, If you have seen Gena, you have seen the Father. I should be a reflection of Jesus.
So when I'm looking into the eyes of someone who is hurting they can be looking back into the eyes of the Father.
You try it.
If you have seen (your name here) you have seen the Father.
That is some powerful stuff right there.
I say all this Gems to tell you there is nothing like one on one contact with another person and allowing your self to be the reflection of Jesus to them. To hold their hand, cry with them, pray with them, hug on them. These things can only be done when your right in front of someone.
I'm not disqualifying being taught and encouraged in a large arena I'm just saying both are just as important. So if God decides to move me in that direction and I can make a living speaking GREAT! If He decides to leave things just as they are I can honestly still say GREAT! If He decides to do both, hey I'm a meat and potatoes girl that's great too.
I want my main goal to reflect Jesus to others. To be able to say “If you have seen me you have seen the Father.”
Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.
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