Gena's Jewels

This jewel is dedicated to Frank Victor Vasquez, III.

Jessica and I met Vic and Stacey, his mom, about 5 years ago at the local soup kitchen. Jess and I were new to Tampa and anxious to make new friends.

Stacey and I were both single moms with kids the same age who obviously had a heart for the homeless, and so began our friendship.

Vic is a big guy. I say is because I’m sure in Heaven he is still big, both in size and spirit! For some reason Stacey always has a 2 door car which may not seem like a big deal unless your Vic and have to climb in the back seat. 

Many times Stacey would pick Jess and I up for soup kitchen and without being asked Vic would climb in that small back seat. He literally looked like a giant in a match box car. I would laugh and say “Vic you can sit in the front” but he would always say no. This may seem like a small thing but it’s one of the many small things that made Vic so special.

He would serve food complete with a hair net, set up tables, chat with our guest, load chairs, whatever was asked of him with a smile that was contagious.

The thing I found the most wonderful about Vic was his relationship with his mother. It’s one thing for a mother/daughter relationship to be close but a mother son… I’m not talking about a mama’s boy, well OK yes I am, but in a masculine sense. When you said Stacey, you said Stacey and Vic because they truly did everything together.

Vic did stuff with Stacey like yard sailing, visiting family and friends, eating out, going to the beach, his mom’s favorite, or serving the community. 

Stacey attended ALL Vic’s sporting events and if Vic’s weren't enough she attended his friends too.

Vic was such an example of a young man that honored his mother. He was respectful, most of the times obedient, and just plain fun to be around. Adults would often comment on what a great relationship the two of them had.

I have learned so much from Stacey’s family. There is a lot of truth in knowing a believer of Jesus Christ by their actions.

To be honest when we first became friends I couldn't understand why almost every weekend Stacey and Vic went to her parent’s or brother’s house. Going to my family’s house on purpose was not a concept I understood. That is until I met them.

My daughters and I were blessed to be in their homes and saw a family that wasn't perfect but knew their roles. Yes family members have roles.

Bruce, Stacey’s father is such a man of God and a true leader of the household. Eric her brother, with a beautiful family of his own, still respected the decisions his father made. Mary, her mom works hard both in the home and outside of it. Proverbs 31 woman for sure. Bruce watches over his family with a love and protection he no doubt learned from His Heavenly Father.

My daughters and I were in awe of the dynamics of this family. I understood immediately where Vic learned to treat family. He had a great heritage.

I have to laugh thinking about the four of us in the early days. Stacey & Vic were rednecks me and Jess were girly girls. Vic was on the larger size Jess the smaller. They wanted to watch monster trucks, we wanted to go to the mall. With all our differences we found unity, support, a new family and best of all unconditional love.

Stacey and I would joke that Jess and Vic would marry when they grew up so Stacey and I could live in the mother-in law suit. They of course would have nothing to do with our plans and ignored our annoying comments, can’t blame a mom for trying.

Vic taught me lessons I never had a chance to share with him. One in particular was learned at his wrestling match.

A few days prior I had an argument with my son Anthony, he’s a single dad and I was angry because I thought he was playing too rough with my grandsons.

Stacey invited me to an event Vic would be wrestling at and I initially said no.

It brought back memories of my high school days. My best friend Linda and I met some of the wrestlers at our school we thought were really cute SO we signed up to be mat girls. Having no idea what a mat girl was we showed up at the wrestling match, to our horror they wanted us to move the smelly sweaty mats around the room. Did I mention girly girl? We decided the boys weren't that cute after all and went home.

Stacey would not take no for an answer, did I mention she’s also hard headed? Must be that birds of a feather thing, so after some bantering I agreed. Little did I know God wanted to teach me something.

As I sat there on the bleachers in the smelly gym I was watching all the different matches that were going on. I also noticed men with their boys on the floor between the matches and of course they were all wrestling each other. I had never witnessed so many men/boys in one room attacking each other for fun….. 

It was all very barbaric and it was then the Lord whispered to me “I created men different than women, your son is treating his sons like dad’s treat their boys not moms.”

It shed a whole new light on my own son’s interaction with his boys. Apparently all boys wrestle.

Although I thought I wouldn't like watching Vic wrestle I instantly became one of the annoying parents cheering LOUDLY for their kid, even if he wasn't technically mine 

Thank you Vic for helping me understand the dynamics between men a little better and their need to slap each other around, go figure.

As much as I would like to say our kids were perfect, of course there not.

It was not uncommon for Stacey and I to call one another when we were administering a punishment to see if our restriction time fit the crime. We would go over the details of their deed, consider if it was a first offense, were they really sorry, how mad were we and then decide our punishment. It was nice to have someone to bounce that kind of stuff off of. There were nights we met and walked around the apartment complex when we needed to vent about something they were doing. We would start off angry and end up thankful we had them.

I had no idea our time with Vic would be so short…..

Vic was killed in a freak accident this past weekend. I am still in disbelief. I am thankful he knows Jesus and is in Heaven with his Heavenly Father. I’m just not able to wrap my mind around the fact that I won’t see him now. I look into my dear friend Stacey’s eyes and cannot begin to comprehend her pain. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met. Her strength this past week has been a true testimony of the power, comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit.

Last night we met at soup kitchen. Many of our original team was there to support Stacey. Her parents, brother and niece joined us for the first time to honor Victor. I was doing pretty well until I saw Vic’s grandfather standing behind the drink table. That was what Vic use to do.

 I literally stopped in my tracks and began to weep. In this moment I realized the younger man of the family was teaching the older how to serve in a new way. But what really caught my attention was the reaction when we announced to our guests of Vic’s tragic death. To see men crying over the loss of a servant spoke volumes. These were men that met Vic at a homeless soup kitchen site where they came for a meal. They got a meal and a great big teddy bear of a friend named Vic. He didn't just feed them food he fed them life. He befriended them, he cared about them, he invested his personal time in them, he was Jesus with skin on to them. He mattered to them the way they mattered to him. That Gems is a testimony!

I have met many of his friends from school and you can tell immediately they are quality friends. You have to be a quality friend to have quality friends. 

Vic was also an organ donor so even in his death lives will be saved. These are qualities of a selfless person.

Again Gems I’m not trying to make it sound like Vic was perfect or had no flaws because he did but I want to honor the fact that he loved his family, friends and most importantly Jesus Christ. Victor was saved by grace not by works but, he took that gift and gave back to God by demonstrating that faith with good works.

In my alone time with the Lord, as I was grieving my young friend’s departure, God showed me

Psalm 116 :¹⁵ Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.

God carefully chooses when He calls one of his own into His presence.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

God knew about this tragic accident and the outcome of it before Victor was born.

Psalm 139:15-16 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

What the enemy meant for harm God has already been using for good. His hand can be seen over and over by the testimonies given by those of us who have been left behind.

So I dedicate this jewel in honor of Frank Victor Vasquez III, his amazing mother Stacey Vasquez that I am honored to do life with

and her loving family.

V alued by those who love you

I nspires us to serve

C haritable to the end

T ank (ask his friends )

O ne of a kind

R eigning with Jesus!

May 11, 1996 - October 6, 2013