We Must Forgive, But We Must Never Forget

On Veterans Day I went to the local Messianic Temple to worship our Lord and there was a man there named Peter who was born in a concentration camp. He came to share his story with the congregation and I was blessed to visit on such an honorable occasion. Peter had the sweetest spirit I have ever seen, he had a kind gentle voice and a smile that could warm the coldest heart. Peter told one horrific story after another about the inhumane things that happened to him in this camp and I squirmed in my seat finding it hard to listen never less experience. He shared his story from the beginning, stories like the way his skull was opened and drugs filled his body to watch the reaction or the endless beatings for no reasons. He talked about unborn babies that were cut form their mother’s wombs and how he was thankful his mother was spared that horror. The emaciated bodies that were piled high with some still barley breathing. I would begin to feel sick and Peter would solemnly pause and with love and compassion say “we must never forget, but we must forgive.” He would wait a moment for us to take in his words before he continued.
He shared about the beatings he watched the Nazi soldiers do to his parents and how cold it was in the camps. He shared how they took women outside naked in 30 below zero weather and poured water on their feet to watch their toes break off. As a five year old he watched his best friend a six year old little girl being raped by multiple soldiers. He would pause and warmly look at us and say “we must never forget, but we must forgive.”
He shared his final days in Poland and the beatings that followed before arriving in the United States to be reunited with his mother who he only had vague memories of. His hopes of a better life were quickly crushed as he arrived in the States only to be greeted by the Klu Klux Klan and another life of hate and rejection. Peter had no idea why he was hated and didn’t speak English to even begin to understand.
When you didn’t think you could stand another moment of his story again Peter would pause and say “we must never forget, but we must forgive.”
Peter shared the later part of his testimony and going back to the concentration camp with his family and the emotions it brought up inside of him. Honestly Gems I don’t know how he even went back. He said he got physically ill and had his son take him back to the hotel they were staying at. Peter went on to tell how the Lord spoke to him and told him to go back to the camp. Peter asked the Lord what he missed and asked him to show him at the hotel as he didn’t want to go back. He shared this part of the story with a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes and it was all I could do not to run up and hug him. The Lord told him he must go back to the camp and forgive those who tortured him and he understandably said no. He did end up obeying the Holy Spirit and returning the place of his pain. God told Peter that he understood the pain and rejection he endured and reminded him of what Jesus suffered on the cross for all of us. The Lord told Peter he needed him to forgive so his sins could be forgiven.
Peter said he fell to his knees and forgave the Nazi soldiers and every vile person who caused so much pain and suffering to Peter and the Jewish people. Peter then told us how an overwhelming love began to pour into him, a love so strong he could not contain it all. This was the same love, all these years later, which is still pouring out of this brave and humble man.
When he finished he was laughing and crying at the same time and invited anyone who wanted to come forward and he would pray for them. There was an older man in the congregation whose grown son helped him up and held the arm of his frail body as they made their way to Peter. This man also spoke Polish and when he got to Peter he wept and hugged Peter then gently kissed him on the cheek. The embrace was so heart felt you knew at that moment these men shared something the rest of us could never and I hope will never understand.
When it was my turn I also wept and hugged Peter and told him how sorry I was for all that happened to him. Again he looked at me with eyes that I know represent my sweet Jesus. Eyes of love and forgiveness and he just hugged me back and reminded me of our Savior’s love and what He did on the cross for me.
I decided to spare you Peter’s entire story but I pray you will not disregard the message. Gems we must never forget the past but we MUST forgive as our Savior forgives.

I Can't Do This Alone

Well Gems it's time for yet another confession. You see what happened was....
I was at the church on a Tuesday night getting ready to go feed the homeless which I love to do. What I don't always love to do is some of the jobs of the leaders but that's why we have leaders.
We have a dress code requirement for all the volunteers for a few reasons, one we represent the Lord and another is safety issues as we don't always have sober guest. We get a lot of teens who either need to do community service hours or they are doing volunteer work for their college transcript. We also have teens that come just because they love the Lord and want to serve.
On this particular night we had a new group of teenage girls and they were definitely not in dress code. They had on short shorts and low cut tops. It's a delicate situation because I need to tell them the dress code without offending them because we want them to be a part of the ministry (FYI this happens with adults too not just teens) I explained to the girls that we had a dress code and it was for their safety and they would have to change their clothes before leaving.
The Lord had already provided for the situation because before I left my house my teenage daughter Jessica gave me a bag of clothes to give away and in that bag were multiple pairs of jeans and sweat pants that of course would fit these girls.
Right before we left another girl showed up and one of the other leaders handed her a T-shirt to keep the “girls” properly covered. I have never had that particular problem so didn't think to have shirts available :)
We climbed into the van and this group of teens were sitting in the last two rows and they were making negative comments the whole ride to the site about having to change their clothes. I tried to ignore it for as long as possible but just as we drove onto the grounds I hit a breaking point and turned around, with an attitude, and said to the ring leader “listen this dress code is for your safety and if it's a problem for you then maybe you shouldn't come out here.”
Of course there was dead silence in the van and we all got out with an attitude.
The Holy Spirit went to work on me immediately letting me know what I said wasn't a problem but the way I said it definitely was. He told me I should have spoken to the girls in private and lovingly explained to them again how it was for their protection. So I ate crow and went over to the ring leader to apologize for not handling the situation in a loving way.
Gems what happened next I was not ready for. After I pulled the young lady to the side and apologized to her she looked up at me with this sweet innocent face and said “I thought you were calling me a skank.”
This about broke my heart. I took her face in my hand and pulled her chin up to look her in the eyes and told her that couldn't be further from the truth. I wanted her to know just the opposite! That she is a princess in the eyes of her Father in Heaven and He doesn't want anyone looking at her lustfully or misinterpreting what she was wearing as an invitation to come on to her.
Was I ever convicted at that moment of how important it is to speak lovingly to our young girls. We have no idea what they are thinking. I thought if she felt that way maybe the other girls did too. I didn't want them to feel judged in any way so I went over to them and had the same conversation, reminding them how precious they are to God.
Gems it breaks my heart every time I hear a teenage girl talking trash or wearing inappropriate clothes. It also breaks my heart when I hear teen boys talking about pursuing girls to have sex. I want so badly for them to know how important they are to God and how much He values them. I want to save them from all the hurt and heartache I went through by looking for love in ALL the wrong places. I didn't wear skimpy clothing because I was so self conscious of my body but the results were the same.
It's an ongoing battle for us as parents to fight for our kids. And yes there are many teens who know who they are in Christ and have decided not to give themselves away before marriage and we need to be praying for them to stay strong.
Sometimes I think we put so much focus on the ones who have fallen that we don't spend enough time cheering on the ones who haven't.
Being a parent is not an easy job. I'm not just talking about purity issues I'm talking about our teens self esteem as a whole.
Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager? I do and it was very dramatic, everything was so huge to me.
It's especially hard if you have teens that won't talk to you. My Amanda was one of those.
True story:
Amanda had been giving me the silent treatment for weeks and I had no idea why. She would look at me with such disgust and it was apparent how she felt about me. To say I wasn't feeling the love is an understatement. Finally I had had enough I became psycho woman, I went to her high school soccer practice and followed her around the field. I told her I wasn't leaving until she talked to me. She kept telling me to get off the field they were getting ready to practice and her coach was going to get mad. I told her I didn't give a crap about her practice or her coach and I wasn't leaving. She continued to huff and puff but not speak so I did the only thing I could think of. I jumped on her back, piggy back, wrapped myself around her and said I wasn't leaving til she talked to me. I know a bit extreme, I told you I was psycho by then.
Gems I'm not telling you to be a total freak but I am telling you if we don't fight for our kids no one else will. We the parents have to be the ones to remind them daily how much we love them and more importantly how much God loves them. We need to be in their business, who are they talking to, what are they watching. The internet is the devils playground you better be involved.
I have been guilty of doing so much ministry to people outside my home and not making sure I'm ministering to my own kids. If your kids are in a youth group you better be praying for that leader but remember he or she is not their parent, what you say about them is what they will hear.
Just this morning I was praying asking the Holy Spirit to help me with a current situation with my last teen at home. I have to fight for her just as hard as the ones I have raised but I gotta tell ya I get tired. I can't do this alone I NEED the Lord to show me what to do and how to handle situations so I can be firm but not freakish. To guide her Spirit side in a way that helps her grow into spiritual maturity without trying to control her. There are times I just want to make everything all better for my kids but the situation is not mine to fix.
Our kids need us. I think the more they push you away the more they are screaming on the inside “I NEED YOU!”
There is a song by Sanctus Real that was spot on for me, I copied part of the lyrics below. The part that hit me the most is whether your a single parent or a two parent household we can't do this alone!

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Christian lyrics - LEAD ME LYRICS - SANCTUS REAL

Gems we can't lead them successfully without being led by God ourselves. My prayer today is that all of us will fight and pray for our kids. If you don't have kids, get involved with someone else's remember, we can't do this alone!

Purpose Livin Strife

What is my purpose? Have you ever asked yourself this question? I have.
A lot of people have shared their struggle with me of feeling they don't know theirs. I have heard many times from the pulpit the saying “know your purpose” and have used a similar expression myself. Most people have heard of or read the book The Purpose Driven Life. This jewel has nothing to do with that book I'm just using it as an example.
My point is people, myself included, seem to get anxious if they think they aren't fulfilling their purpose. They get restless when they feel it's taking too long for their purpose to start. They get fearful if they think they missed their purpose or worse yet aren't good enough for a purpose.
The thing is Gems I meet Christians who feel inadequate in their walk because they don't think they're living their purpose and the worst part is they have no idea what that purpose is! Like God is playing some kind of mind game with them. Again I have been guilty of this very thing.
We start comparing ourselves to other people who we think have not only figured theirs out but are doing it.
I started really praying about this and I was surprised by what answer I felt the Holy Spirit gave me.
The first thing He asked me was where in the Bible did I read about “purpose?”
I couldn't answer that question.
I realized I never actually read it in the Bible I just heard it in sermons or teachings.
I decided to search the Bible but couldn't find any teaching, New or Old Testament that we were born with a certain purpose and we better figure out what it is before Jesus comes back.
If I missed it PLEASE share.
The Holy Spirit told me that God only asked us to do one thing and that was to believe.
John 6:29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.”
Romans 10:9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
God created all of us and He will decide what purpose He wants to use us in, not the other way around.
What I mean is God's not waiting in Heaven for me to figure out the plan and purpose for my life He's got it all on lock down and when His plan includes me, He will let me know.
Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?
Some of us might be used like a David or an Esther and some of us might just be common folk but we are all special in the Kingdom of God.
The last thing Christ told His disciples to do was to share the gospel with the rest of the world. I guess that could be considered a purpose and it's pretty self explanatory right? Tell people why they should believe in Jesus.
So why all this focus and anxiety on knowing your purpose, what your supposed to be doing????
Back to my conversation with the Holy Spirit.
After clearing up that I was struggling with something that wasn't taught from the Bible He reminded me that the goal is to have your desires and the Lords be the same thing. The more we are seeking God and wanting to do the things that please Him the more He can give us the desires of our heart because we will desire the same things.
So if I'm going to use this purpose thing, my first purpose would be to learn what the heart of God is and then make that a goal for my heart as well.
He said once we are on the same page I should enjoy my life.
WHAT????? Enjoy my life? That's the answer?
I gotta tell you Gems it was short and sweet and it made all the sense in the world to me.
It's not some mystery that only the super spiritual will be able to figure out. It's reading the Bible to learn and understand how much God loves you. It's about meeting Jesus and the Holy Spirit and loving them more than yourself. That in itself is a daily plan.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not saying we shouldn't be in constant prayer for our life. There are times we are waiting on God for a decision or direction. We may be waiting for answers or confirmation ,there are a list of things you may be waiting to hear from God on BUT these are not your purpose they are HIS! I'm also not talking about using your gifts for the Kingdom, when an opportunity presents itself go for it.
God has been using people for His purpose from the beginning. He used Adam to start man kind and He used Eve to begin the plan for salvation. He used Moses to bring His people out of Egypt and He used Pharaoh to try and keep them there. They were used by God for His purpose but I don't' think they walked around asking themselves the question, why am I here. They were living their lives and God used them. His purpose may be exciting and fun or it can be down right painful.
He used Jesus John 12:27 “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour.
This jewel is a reminder to me and maybe you too that we can stop saying things like “I don't know what God want's me to do.” He wants you to experience the joy of your salvation. Learn what you can from every place your at. He wants to remind us we can't work into our purpose, you become it as soon as you accept Christ as your Savior. You become a light in a dark world wherever you are at any given moment. Live, laugh, love, make friends, get married, be single, work with animals, have children do all things in a way that would please your Father in Heaven.
The Bible wasn't written about us finding our purpose so we can have a relationship with God. It was written to show us how we can have a relationship with God through Christ.
I think we may have taken this purpose living life to purpose livin strife. If you want to get serious here it's more about being willing to suffer for Christ than thinking we're such an important part of the plan.
2 Timothy 1:8-9a Therefor do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace which was give to us in Christ Jesus before time began,
Gems the word says His own purpose and grace. Our God, the ultimate Potter made our lump of clay called life before time began. You may be used for a special purpose or you may be just another cracked pot like me and that's OK :) so get rid of purpose strife and live your life!

Gift of Faith

Ya know people are often telling me what great faith I have but I gotta tell you it makes me giggle cause the truth is it depends on the day. Some days I have great faith and other days I'm asking myself if I have lost my mind? You may ask, then what gives me the courage to keep going? Good question, glad you asked.
The thing I do have great faith in is God's faithfulness. His reality and plan for my life doesn't change based on my emotions for the day. Thank you Jesus. God's not in Heaven one day saying Gena has strong faith today my plan for her life is moving forward and the next saying ooops she's feeling weak today stop the plan til further notice. His promises and mercies are new each day. Again not based on my ability to believe but His faithfulness.
With that said I want you to look at the other side of my story. On God's faith in His other children to be obedient which in turn grows my faith.
When I was out of work for 2 years and living in a foreclosed house and had NO source of income I had to rely on God's provision. Now we all know there are times the Lord uses miracles like when He healed the leper, brought the dead back to life or turned water into wine. I'm all for miracles and have experienced them personally.
I had a blood clot on my lung when I was 5 months pregnant with my last child. I was told by doctors to get my affairs in order. That's a nice way of saying your gonna kick the bucket. That's another jewel. however, the Lord did a miracle and healed me. My point is miracles occur all the time but you usually have to really NEED a miracle. Your situation has to be totally out of your control. I'm grateful for the miracles but I don't want to need like that everyday. I do want to know all my daily needs will be met.
During that 2 year period I needed food and money and I started what I called a Ravens List. It recorded all the ways God met my needs. I was going to include it in the jewel but it was way too long. As I was looking at all the post I realized that each of these individuals had to be obedient to do what God put on their heart. Some were small amounts in the worlds eyes like ten dollars. I think that was for those whose obedience walk just started. Others were larger like one hundred dollars, this was for people who understood it was from God and He would bless them for their obedience. One time there was a surprisingly large blessing.
I had a dream and in the dream I was given a beautiful package. It was wrapped in pretty paper and I was so excited about it. I was also given an envelope and inside of it was a large amount of money. That's all I remember about the dream.
A few days later I got a call from a friend to stop by her house. I had other plans but when she asked a second time the Holy Spirit moved in me to go see her so I did. When I got to the house we were talking about general stuff nothing life shattering and I wondered why the Holy Spirit sent me there. A moment later my friend told me she had something for me from her and her husband. She handed me a beautiful wrapped package and inside was a tea cup, I drink a lot of tea. On the inside of the cup were the words “an angles job is never done” with a picture of a cute flying angel. I was so surprised and excited cause it wasn't my birthday or anything and I love getting gifts. My friend then handed me an envelope and inside of that was FIVE THOUSAND dollars. I was blown away by the amount of money she and her husband were giving me! I don't know if I ever told her about that dream.
The thing is Gems it took just as much faith and obedience on my friends part to give me this gift as it took for me to believe God would provide.
We both had to be obedient to do what God told us to do.
Over the years I have been blessed by so many people who gave from their heart not from my request. I say that because that's how I gauge if I'm hearing things right from God. I believe if it's His will He will be the one who provides without me asking for it. My job is to seek His kingdom and His job is to provide.
Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
It's like Pastors. They are being obedient to the call of ministry and feeding Christ sheep but they are trusting that the sheep will be faithful to tithe so their needs can be met.
I want to take the time to thank everyone who has sown into Gena's Jewels and my life in general. Thank you for your obedience to the Lord. Thank you for what may seem the smallest gift like words of encouragement to the largest gifts weather money or material things. I have been so blessed by your obedience and your faithfulness to our sweet Jesus.
I am thankful for the miracles in my life and I'm honored to serve the One who performs them and my prayer is to be a blessing to someone else who is waiting on the Lord for something. For now it's usually my time because finances are low but that doesn't mean it is any less an offering of praise to my Heavenly Father.
Gems we have all been given the gift of faith we just have to choose to use it. The more you do the more it grows on the inside of you. Remember it doesn't change God's abilities or His relationship with us. It's not how much power He has it's how much of His power do I want to tap into. I'm hooked, the more I get the more I want.
My prayer for you Gems is that you will be obedient to whatever God calls you to do. Weather it's to give a smile, a hug, a word of encouragement or a financial blessing. We can all choose to give the gift of faith and in turn help someone else's faith grow.

Up A Tree Without A Plan

I was in Texas recently and my dear friend Suzan took me to see this tree. She said there was a jewel in there somewhere :)
I have been pondering that sight for a few days now and this is the lesson I believe the Lord showed me.
The bikes represent us, we are all on a journey in our personal lives, all going different directions with different circumstances, different dreams and different destinations. There are times however when you feel like your spinning your wheels and going no where. Every road seems to be a dead end and you feel like your bike is going higher and higher in that tree and the “right” road is getting further and further away.
It is in these times we feel God has ridden off into the sunset and forgotten us .
We can't see the forest for the trees because our circumstances have blinded our view. We feel like we tried to hold onto Jesus but we lost our grip and we are now riding alone.
The Lord gave me a visual regarding that thought and His answer to it.
I pictured myself flying with Jesus, holding onto the back of His cape if you will, holding on for dear life. Slowly my grip begins to loosen and one by one my fingers let go and I begin to fall to the cold hard ground below.
The Lord showed me that I can let go any time I want because it is Him who is holding onto me!
When I feel like my bike is hanging from a tree and I'm running into other tree ornaments we are all still very much being held up by His branches.
We ask ourselves why in the world would God allow us to be in this tree? How can this be good for me or my family? How long am I going to hang here with questions and no answers? We feel like things are out of control because we aren't supposed to be here. Or are we?
Perhaps the very times we are dangling from an unfamiliar place is the very times the Lord is increasing our faith and encouraging us to let go of the wheel and trust Him to bring us to the right destinations.
To ride by faith.
2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.
I love the mountains and the Lord has been so good to bless me the past few years to go visit them every year near my birthday. Once again this year I was offered a beautiful place in North Carolina that Jess and I could stay for free! It's all I could talk about to anyone who would listen. About 2 weeks before it was time to leave the Lord asked me to go to Texas to minister for Him. I suddenly felt myself beginning to ride by bike up that tree trunk.
I began explaining to the Lord if I go to Texas I won't have any funds to go to North Carolina. Did I mention I LOVE the mountains?? There was nothing pressing on my heart about Texas but the Holy Spirit did not let it go so I called my dear friend Suzan, bought the ticket and landed in Ft. Worth a few days later.
Before I even left I began to plan the course I would ride once I got there. Before I knew it I was hanging from a tree branch, everything I thought I was going to do was changed.
The Lord had his own bike route we would be taking. There were moments I was holding on not sure which road to go down but then I got that visual of me letting go knowing the Lord was holding onto me, I just had to keep peddling.
There were parts of the trip that were uncomfortable for me and I asked God why do I have to do this? I felt like I was up in someones tree house without an invite. It was at these times the Lord reminded me how much He loved these individuals and it was by His invite I was there. Gems I had no idea what I was doing in that tree BUT God did and looking back I see I was exactly where I was supposed to be ministering to exactly who He chose.
The whole experience increased my faith and encouraged me to just start peddling when the Lord calls and don't worry about the obstacles. The Lord promises to work out all things for the good of those who love Him and either He's God or He's not.
I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I don't see the good in my situation at all, the whole thing looks about as natural as riding a bike from a tree branch. During the trip things may be confusing but when the ride is over and I reach my destination I can look back and see the hand of God on the whole trip.
2Corinthians 4:17-18 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
The bottom line is a long time ago there was an innocent man who was asked to hang on a tree. To be beaten and bruised for my iniquities. To have the face of God turn away from Him because of my sins. A man asked to hang from a tree and believe God would work it all out. He too asked if there was another way to go. That man was my sweet Jesus and I thank Him daily for giving me the tree of life.
Gems I write you this jewel from a beautiful room with a breath taking view of the North Carolina mountains. I have so much joy in my heart I'm about to burst! I so wish each one of you could be here to share in this blessing. One of the locals told me it snowed last week and was freezing and next week the tourist will be here and it will be hard to get around town. She said we definetly chose the perfect weekend to be here. Honestly I thougth once I was on that plane to Texas I would have to give up my mountain trip but God worked it all out for His and my perfect timing.
My prayer for each of you is the next time you find yourself up a tree without a plan you will remember that Jesus is holding onto you. Let go, ride without hands and trust you can only fall as far as the palm of His hands.

I'll Wait For You

Gems this is one of those confession jewels so it may be a bit long and you may have to follow me but I will eventually make my point. I write these kind of jewels for a couple of reasons, one to keep me humble and two for you to hopefully feel better about yourself.
So here goes.... I had one of those weekends when your behavior sneaks up on you, and anyone else that might have been unfortunate enough to be near you, and it's not a pretty sight. Kind of like a pressure cooker, your dealing with stuff and the pressure is getting more and more intense but you think you got it under control and then your realize you don't.
I know many people have way worse stuff in their pressure cooker but this is some of the stuff that was in mine.
My youngest daughter has been sick and coughing for weeks and I'm sick of her being sick, I'm sick of fighting with my ex to get a coy of her insurance card, I'm sick of not having enough money, I'm sick of being hot, I'm sick of the crap my son and grandsons deal with because of selfishness and divorce, I'm sick of being alone, I'm sick of people, I'm sick of my hair being long and short, I'm sick of feeling fat, I'm sick of eating cake, I'm sick of bla bla bla.... You get the picture.
My oldest daughter was visiting for the weekend when the cooker blew. I have (had) a radio (picture above) it's really old and only one speaker works but it's all I have/had. I was trying to unplug it so I could plug in the computer so the girls and I could watch a movie. The cord was wrapped around the chair it was sitting on and I couldn't get it off. It was at this point that I lost my mind and picked up the radio and threw it to the ground. The speakers broke off but it didn't break enough so I picked it up and threw it down again with a bit more force and in the background heard Amanda calmly say to Jessica “I believe that's my radio.”
Trying to keep my composure I went directly upstairs to take a shower. As I replayed the scene in my head visualizing how it must have looked to my innocent bystanders, me wrestling with my half functioning radio and pieces flying in the air I once again heard Amanda's words “I believe that's my radio.” I just busted out laughing, I'm laughing now as I'm writing this.
My current journey has been on honoring God. Having a healthier respect and fear of who He is.
I woke up this morning confessing all my above junk to Him and asking Him to speak to me and give me some guidance on what to do with my current situation. I decided I would leave my phone off and get in the word. I picked up my Bible and realized I'm in the book of Job and my first thought was, great of all books how is this going to make me feel better.
I obviously was leaving out the honor and fear part of my journey.
As I began to read Job defending himself to his friends that he was innocent before God and didn't deserve what was happening to him I was right there with him. (IF you don't know the story of Job, read it) Not that I was comparing myself to Job, my life was not and is not as guilt free as his. Just ask the radio. But I was dissing his friends thinking why weren't they more supportive? Why were they so self righteous trying to throw him under the bus? I was cheering Job on thinking him innocent as well and feeling bad that God told satan he could mess with him.
To be honest I was joining in on the why oh why God aren't you talking to me and telling me what to do about my situation????? I was rolling right along with Job until.... God spoke!
These are a few of the things that God asked Job.
Job 38:1 “who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?” (assorted verses)
“Where were you when I laid the earths foundation? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb? Have you ever given orders to the morning or shown the dawn it's place, have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? What is the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons? Can you set up God's dominion over the earth? Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you? Here we are? Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom? does the eagle soar at your command and build his nest on high?
Job 40:1&8 The Lord said to Job, “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him.”
“Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

It was at this point I was on my face crying out to God for forgiveness. Who was I to question God? I felt much like that radio in broken pieces before my Lord.
Gems this word is for me and I'm sharing it with you. I needed to understand that I can't let the size of my afflictions keep me from accepting them. We need to submit to whatever God requires with meekness not rebellion. Behind the trials of the Godly which may seem unreasonable at the time lies the wise purpose of God for His plan.
The amazing lesson of the book of Job is if we know God, we don't need to know why He allows us to experience what we do. He is not only in control of the universe He's in control of our lives and He loves us. Even if I don't always understand I should not criticize God for how he deals with me or others.
My place is to honor and respect Him because HE IS GOD!
I love how the book of Job ends. Even though God didn't mince words with Job, He gave it to him straight He still delivered Job once he repented.
Job 42:1-6 Then Job replied to the LORD: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
The Lord not only forgave Job He gave him back twice as much as he had before.
I applied all this to my life and ended my time with the Lord knowing He forgave me. My next words to Him are “SO, I'll wait for you.” I pray to be content as I wait on the Lord and I will try really hard not to break any more electronic devices :)

Do's and Don'ts

I was wondering recently if we have become a people of don'ts instead of do's. What do I mean? Glad you asked. How do you feel when you hear a list of things you can't do rather than a list of what you can?
When I had my first child I was constantly telling him things like don't eat the dog food, don't eat the paste, don't drink the toilet water.
True story: When Anthony was about 2 years old we lived in an old house in New York. The window sills were low to the ground so he could see out his bedroom Windows. I walked into his room one day as he was watching this unexplored world outside his window and wondered what he was thinking. When I called his name he turned around and to my horror could see half a bug sticking out of his sweet little mouth with it's legs still moving.
I now had to add to my list, don't eat bugs unless your wearing camel hair, they are locust and your initials are JTB.
My daughter on the other hand loved to run around in just her diaper, this kid hated clothes so to her list I had to add don't take your clothes off in the mall...
I'm sure you have your own list.
One of the best pieces of advice I got as a young mother of 2 toddlers was any time you took something away from your child replace it with something else. This was great advice.
I could take the scissor from Anthony's hand and replace it with a wooden spoon and as long as I had a big smile on my face he thought he was getting the better end of the deal.
If we are the kind of parents or employees or friends that have a constant list of don'ts it can be exhausting for those in our lives to have a relationship with us and can often lead to secrecy.
Don't tell mom I did this. Don't let the boss know about that. Gems it is exhausting trying to constantly win the affection of someone. This applies to having a relationship with Jesus too.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying rules are wrong BUT what if in our Christian walk we become too focused on the don'ts?
Don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't lie, don't curse, don't nag. Again all good advice but they make people think they have to get all the don'ts out of the way before they can have a relationship with Jesus.
This of course could not be further from the truth. Once we experience Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit all these things will eventually be taken care of. Trust me He's still working on my don'ts list.
We are a selfish people that want to know what's in it for us so let's use that to our advantage.
What if we focused on do you want to have a relationship with Jesus? You get to and all you have to do is believe.
John 6:29 Jesus answered”The work of God is this to believe in the one he has sent.”
What if gave you a list of Do's you get with being a child of God such as:
1. a delightful inheritance Psalm 16:6
2. Sweet communion with God Psalm 17:15
3. experience unfailing love, be filled with good things Psalm 107: 8-9
4. Never be hungry or thirsty again, be fully satisfied. John 6:35
5.Be free from the love of money, be content with what I have, have a helper that will never leave me! Hebrews 13:5-6

What if we changed the things you don't think about like sex outside of marriage, gossiping, pornography, lust you get the point and change it to a Do think about list:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
I'm just sayin adults are not much different than toddlers take something away and replace it with something else with a big smile on your face and see what happens.
So Gems, as always, I would encourage you today to see if your a don't talker or a do talker. Let's all try to encourage each other with positive words and let the Holy Spirit DO what He does best, fix the don'ts.