Small Group Habit

There's something really special about being a part of a small group of believers. It's a time when you meet with like minded people and share your struggles and triumphs. It's great to go to church and worship but in a small group setting you can have intimate conversation and truly get to know one another.

Another benefit of it is I think it really ticks off satan because he's into isolation when your down so he can fill your head with a bunch of lies and there's no one there to set you straight.

I am currently in another small group because like life the people and places change. We were sharing something last night and my friend Roxanne suggested I write a jewel about it so, here it is.

I will start by telling you the golden rule of small groups, "what's said in the group, stays in the group” so I will just share my part.

We were talking about our families and the dynamics of them. As you all know my relationship with my parents was and is challenging. We talked about how our families made us feel when we were young and how some of those feelings have been dragged into our adulthood.

I went through a really tough time especially after I became a mother and could not understand my parents interaction with us. I could not imagine doing or saying things to my children that were said to me and my siblings.

I remember one day just crying out to God that I wanted a “real” relationship with my mother. I remember Him replying so clearly. He told me I had two choices. A: accept my mother the way she was and understand she wasn't with holding she just wasn't capable to give what I needed. Or B: I could end my relationship with her and my father.

This may shock you but I chose B. Our relationship so was so damaging to me emotionally that I needed to just stay away from my parents for a while.

During that time I allowed the Lord to fill the void I had in my heart. I also gave God an opportunity to let me see myself through His eyes and not my parents. It was a very healing time for me and quite honestly I would not be able to take care of my parents with love now if I didn't do that healing time then.

As always God knows exactly what needs to be done for all of us.

Before when I looked at my parents I didn't want to resemble any part of them but now when I look at them with healthy eyes I realize I have some good qualities that I inherited from them.
My mother was always a very independent person and thought nothing of driving from New York to Florida by herself and this was forty years ago. We moved quite a bit and my mother always made sure we were in a nice home and decorated it to be comfortable.

My father was a very hard worker and even if he wasn't there emotionally he was there financially, which is more than I can say for a lot of men today. He took great pride in his work and had two full time jobs until he retired. My dad had a nursery in our back yard and people came from all over to buy Fast Eddie's trees because they knew my father would take good care of them before and after their purchase.

I learned to take the positive qualities of my parents and make that the soil of my life, the foundation if you will. I then built my life on that foundation and added to it.

I remembered the things in my childhood that brought me the most pain and made sure not to duplicate them in my children's life.

Honestly people often comment on what a great relationship I have with my children. It wasn't an accident. I poured myself into my children and made them a priority. I ask God for wisdom constantly and read the Bible to learn how to be a good mother. I'm not perfect just ask anyone of them :) but I try my best.

I told my oldest son when he had his first child always say your sorry because you WILL make mistakes and always say I love you. Keep God in your life and the rest will work out.

Feel free to use this recipe for your own life.

The Lord knew how important it was to surround ourselves with positive people that He even made it a command for our good.

Hebrews 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:22-25 (The Message)
So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

The big day of course will be the day He returns for us but until He gets here He wants us to have a spiritually and emotionally healthy life.

Being with my group of ladies I am able to share what I went through and encourage someone who might be going through a similar situation now. I also get the wisdom of other ladies in the group who see things totally different than I do.

My youngest daughter is in my group so I get to hear her thoughts that she doesn't always share with me one on one. Be prepared if your in a group with a family member to hear situations where you are the problem....

We need to hear what God says about us and filter out what the world says. The wold can be really loud yelling things to you that are not in your best interest.

On a cool night I like to sleep with my window open and last night was one of those nights. The problem is it's so noisy outside I always have to get up in the middle of the night and shut the window. Last night as I got up I thought to myself, it's amazing how much noise gets in such a small amount of open window. The Lord spoke to me right there and reminded me it's the same way with the window to our soul. If you leave it open just a little bit to negative thoughts and words it will get really loud when it hits your heart and mind.

You may be thinking why do you leave the window open if you know your going to get up in the middle of the night and shut it? Good question, some where in my mind I think this night will be different and I won't hear the outside. Hmmmm funny how we think we can play with truth. Shut the window!

One way you can shut the window is to be in a small group setting. If you go to church ask if they have groups in place. If they don't or you don't go to church, be the small group.

Open your home to friends of like mind and like the Message Bible says be encouraging love and help each other out, spurring each other on.

Like the writer of Hebrews says, let's make meeting together a habit.

I want to give a special thank you to the women who made me part of their small group over the years, Betty, Suzan, Jane, Courtney & Cathy. The list will continue until the day Christ returns!