As you may, or may not know, I got married in September! Who would have thought I would
be a bride at 61 but here I am living my "happily ever after."
Needless to say it's been a while since I have written a Gena's Jewels.
So buckle up cause here we go!
A few months ago I kept seeing Range Rovers driving in front or near me. It was so often I knew the Holy Spirit was stirring something in my Spirit. I would pass signs in random places but literally I was surrounded by vehicles or images of Range Rovers.
Of course in the natural it was nice to think God was telling me to buy one but I knew it was better than that, and less expensive. I began asking Him what He was saying to me. So as any good detective would do, I started with the meaning of the word.
1. Rover: a person who spends their time wandering.
2.(in various sports) a player not restricted to a particular position on the field.
Well if you know anything about me you know I have spent a lot of time wandering! I actually love wandering and the truth is I was concerned that getting married would hinder or stop that from happening.
It was the second definition that really got my attention "not restricted to a particular position on the field"
I’ll be honest with you. I have worked for and lived with many people. Some of those experiences have been wonderful and I have made life long friends and other times I begged to be released from my assignment and have lost friends. The thing is living with people can make you feel less than.
I would do my best to be “invisible” so I wouldn’t be too much of a bother.
I would try not to ask for anything and eat as little as possible. When company came I would have to give up my area and find somewhere else to be invisible for a few days. Sometimes I slept on a couch or cot and at times on the floor. Occasionally I had my own room or area, at times I was surrounded by boxes or other people's stuff, it took some adjusting and eating of humble pie, however, I was always surrounded and encouraged by Yeshua (Jesus).
When I would call my family crying or confused they were great at being encouraging. I am blessed to have some awesome friends who put up with me as well and believe it or not writing to you Gems was a huge help.
Don’t get me wrong there were many adventures of absolute fun and excitement, I wouldn’t change a bit of it, I’m just telling you being a “Rover” can be difficult. Jesus knew this well.
And NO, I am not comparing my journey to His I just mean He understood how I felt. OK now that we got that straight.
One day when I was sharing, OK whining, to God about my frustration of feeling less than by being technically homeless, this is what He said.
“You are my personal missionary. I allow you to move in and have personal relationships with my child that needs tending to. It’s not about you living with someone, even if you “feel” less than, it’s the honor of being, literally an at home missionary.”
It made me go from homeless to honored just like that.
As I said, the second definition of rover was the one that got my attention. Being married now I was concerned I would have to give up being a rover and a life I had come to thrive in. I looked forward to where I would end up next and experiencing God’s supernatural provision on a continuous basis. I can’t just bring my new husband along to random people’s houses for an indefinite sleep over, I tried he said no….
Getting used to someone providing a home and all that comes with it in a very normal way had become abnormal to me. What do you mean you get a weekly paycheck??? Of course Paul, my husband, has known me for over 20 years and read and agreed to the small print of life with Gena!
My dear friend and mentor Fran Bozeman told me a long time ago that God was a jealous God and He was not going to give me to just anyone. Paul was worth the wait.
So as I sit here today writing to you dear Gems, I am looking at new land that I will continue to wander on. As a player, not restricted to a particular position on the field. I will take on new assignments, some solo and some with my husband. I will still have sleepovers but will also have the gift of a home to go back to that I don’t need a U-Haul to come with me.
I am living in a different city with lots of new people to connect with. I have been blessed to do a bible study at a local facility for addicts and people with mental issues, which by the way my husband says I seem to fit right in with. Not sure if I should slap him or say thanks 😜
The challenge is not feeling unfulfilled while I wait for the new Range Rover directions. As I'm spending more time at home right now, I have to be careful not to just get "busy" to replace expectations I have imposed on myself or by others. I need to feel truly satisfied and at peace whether I'm doing "normal" or wandering. The truth is when wandering first started that felt completely abnormal!!
I can feel bored at times and that is a sentiment of disconnectedness. I read that to be bored does not mean that we have nothing to do, but that we question the value of the things we are doing.
The Holy Spirit's response to me was "who are you to question what I ordained as important?"
OUCH....
Maybe you are at a place in your life that you feel bored or discontent. I want to encourage you that the place you're at is obviously a very important place or our Father would not have you there. We can devalue seasons that God is doing the greatest work in us for His glory and our benefit.
