Saturday, February 24, 2024

To Dwell In


I was taught that the meaning of Shaken meant glory, but it actually means To Dwell In. As the man I was listening to shared the definition I thought, what better way to bring glory to God than to allow Him to dwell in us. How amazing it is to me that God still wants to live not only among, but within His children. He wants a sacred place to commune with His people. 

From The Garden of Eden in Genesis to Revelation: 21:2-3 the design was to have fellowship with us. When God had the Israelites build a tabernacle the goal was to dwell among them.

The purpose of the tabernacle was to promote intimacy between God and his people. We focus so much on the sacrifices and details of the preparation that we miss out on the main purpose.  God did give them precise ways to handle the process, in fact He was adamant that they followed the pattern He put before them. 

Exodus 28:35 "Aaron will wear this robe whenever he ministers before the LORD, and the bells will tinkle as he goes in and out of the LORD'S presence in the Holy Place. If he wears it, he will not die." 

Yikes!! Those are some pretty scary words. We worry about what we will wear to church for our own vain reasons and to be honest no real regard for what God might think of our attire. God still cares about the process of worship, He warns us not to add or take away from the word of God. 

God brought His children out of Egypt for a reason, He tells us in

Exodus 29:45-46 "Then I will live among the people of Israel and be their God , and they will know that I am the LORD their God. I am the one who brought them out of the land of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the LORD their God."

As a mom I have been blessed to live most of my life among my children and grandkids. At one time my oldest son, daughter and I had houses on the same block. My grandsons Anthony and Lucas (now 21 and 19) could just walk over to Nana's house!

I love doing life with my kids and desperately want to be a part of   my grandchildren's lives as they grow. 



My husband and I recently moved to Tennessee and I am so happy to be near my son and daughter-in-love and our 5 grandkids but it was so hard to leave my other 5 grandchildren and 3 kids and my son-in-love behind. I pray one day we will all be here together but until then my heart aches a bit as I miss them. It blows my mind that the star breathing God feels this way at such a deeper level for all of us. 

I imagine God has a HUGE refrigerator in Heaven with all our pictures on it!  God wants to be one with us, it's why Paul says our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. A place for God to work in and through our lives. The tabernacle was also a place of meeting. Then, like now, there were those who were not ready for an intimate relationship with God, so the tabernacle was a place of meeting among His people to draw others to commune with Him. It was a place to meet and learn about God. 


Ya'ad, To meet with you, to arrange things. The word stems from Moadim.  I will meet with you, it's why God set up feast days, appointed times He would meet with His people, to dwell among them. We are to continue to learn God's ways, to be a holy people that God can use to draw others close to Him. He is the God of relationship.

The "how" He makes that happen is not always easy and because we are all different the application and results are not the same. 

For example: God extended many invitations to King Nebuchadnezzar. According to the Bible, Nebuchadnezzar had more visions from God than any of the other ancient heathen kings. He even saw messengers (angels of God), and his kingship was full of visions and demonstrations of God's miraculous powers. Because He would not acknowledge God's sovereigntyNebuchadnezzar was driven out of human society and ate grass like an ox. The dew fell on his body, and his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers and his nails as long as birds' claws. “When the seven years had passed,” said the king, “I looked up at the sky, and my sanity returned. King Nebuchadnezzar acknowledged the Kingship of God and his life was restored to him. 

His son, King Belshazzar, had a different experience. He's in the middle of a full blown orgy in the palace and making it clear how powerful he is and a hand, no body, shows up writing on the wall. Read Daniel chapter 5 for the full story.


We tend to think the miracle is the bodyless hand but the true miracle is that God loves us enough that even when we do not seek Him, He still comes seeking us. Was the hand there to pass judgement, no the hand came as an invitation, it wasn't about the writing but the writer. God let's Belshazzar know the meaning of what was written on the wall.

Daniel 5:26 “Here is what these words mean:

Mene: God has numbered the days of your reign and brought it to an end.

27 Tekel: You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.


God is letting him know according to HIS holy scales Belshazzar doesn't make the cut.



"We are in denial about the scales, we are in denial about our willful condition. We have changed sinners in the hands of an angry God into God in the hands of angry sinners. The consequence of all unholiness has to be judgement, there is no understanding of salvation without it. We have to be rescued even when we don't seek it or seek Him. He still comes seeking us." Paige Brown

Belshazzar has a very different ending than his father, he does not accept the invitation and continues with a hard heart and that very night the Babylonian king was killed. We have always had free will to accept or not accept a relationship with our Creator.  

The idea that God wants to dwell in me is still mind boggling. Just as God had very specific instructions on how the temple was to be laid out and the process to follow, exactly, with no variations by man, He still gives instructions for relationship. Consider that because of what Yeshua, Jesus did for us on the cross God has gone from dwelling among to dwelling IN us.

God was clear with His instructions to Aaron and the priest of what they should wear and the tasks they were to perform. We have clear instructions today as well. Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35.) The way we love demonstrates who we are. The way we live is the first word we speak about the Gospel and the transformational power of the cross.

Gems, there is only one way for God to dwell in you and that is through the power of the blood of Jesus. He bore and paid the price for all our sins. He died on a cross and was raised to life 3 days later. He sits at the right hand of God and has given us a place within the family of God to live for eternity as a gift of love.

Once we have accepted that gift it is our responsibility to learn Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service."

We don't get to pick and choose what that looks like anymore than the children of Israel did in the Old Testament. We don't get to negotiate terms with God on what we think is fair, we GET to have the most high God dwell in us!

God does not leave us clueless of the process, He has given us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us, BUT you have to seek Him. These scriptures are the "how" for all of us. 

  1. Do not withhold good (Proverbs 3:27)
  2. Lending to the Lord (Proverbs 19:17)
  3. Let your light shine (Matthew 5:14-16)
  4. The greatest will be your servant (Matthew 23:11-12)
  5. Whatever you did for the least of these (Matthew 25:40)
  6. The Son of Man did not come to be served (Mark 10:42b-45)
  7. Give, and it will be given to you (Luke 6:38)
  8. It's better to give than receive (Acts 20:35)
  9. Practice hospitality (Romans 12:9-13)
  10. Serve one another humbly (Galatians 5:13-14)
  11. Carry each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2)
  12. Value others above yourself (Philippians 2:3-4)
  13. He will not forget your work (Hebrews 6:10)
  14. Do not forget to do good (Hebrews 13:16)
  15. Above all, love each other deeply (1 Peter 4:8-10)

Here's the thing Gems, God said IF Aaron and the priest dressed the way he commanded they would not die.

We think we can dress our temple any way we want and there will be no consequences. We pick churches that tell us what we want to hear. We have no regard for sin or the price that Christ paid for our forgiveness. We think we can dress our temple however we want and God has to accept it, like we are the ones who decide the scales of holiness.


God is very clear with the results of His gift of salvation.

1 Peter 2:9-11

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.


If you don't wear His righteousness than you may want to ask yourself if you will come up short on the scales of God.

I pray you will decide to accept God's invitation to dwell IN you because there are only 2 choices, life or death. You will either spend eternity in Heaven or Hell. 



Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Are We Home Yet

    


Hello Gems! Thought it was time for an update! I will need to go back in time first so you can travel with me.
The first destination I went to on a solo faith journey with God was Tennessee. It was an amazing and scary trip. I was unemployed, had 2 kids at home, didn't know where in Tennessee I was supposed to go and had no money... Other than that it was a great idea.
I prayed for weeks asking where I was supposed to go. I felt like God was leading me to Johnson City. 
It's a long story but the cliff notes are God gave me a dream and gave the same dream to a friend who was ministering in Africa at the time. (Next time you see me remind me to tell you the whole dream it was CRAZY!)
 Anyway, my friend and I shared the dream together when she returned from her trip. She said the only thing different about our dreams was, at the end of her dream she heard the Lord say Johnson City. 
She asked if that meant anything to me.  UMMMM yes

The trip was full of one super natural adventure after another. I remember the first morning of my arrival I went to breakfast, I sat at my table looking around the room thinking it was a divine appointment of some kind and I heard the Holy Spirit say, "relax, we are here to eat."
Everyone's got jokes. I strongly suggest you take a trip alone with God whenever He asks. 

I fell in love with Tennessee and have wanted to live here ever since. The Lord told me after that first trip I would move here, what He didn't mention was it would be 17 years later!! He also didn't mention that after multiple temporary moves back and forth from Florida to Tennessee, on my own, I would make the permanent move with a husband. Also a long but worth it wait!





This gave a new meaning to "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2Peter 3:8

Before Paul, my husband, and I moved to Tennessee we were once again praying about the where to go and what to do when we get there. We felt the Lord leading us to Jefferson County.


We  had an application in process for a duplex in Morristown which is where we had family and wanted to be near them if possible. Tennessee is not like Florida, we were used to having lots of options when looking for a home but here, there were few pickins. We were getting discouraged when the management company we were working with was doing a less than great job. 
As usual God was making His own arrangements. 
Of course He likes to do things last minute, it was about 2 weeks before our lease was up He showed us we weren't moving to Morristown. He was sending us to New Market, a small country town and we would be starting our own "New Market" there.   That was the Where.

Our home is more than we asked for or imagined. It is an older home but we absolutely love it! It used to be owned by a church so it has a dedicated office and extra parking. More importantly for me, it has a fire pit to surround with family and smores. Winning!






Now the What ~ Paul has a heart for people struggling with addiction knowing first hand the chaos it causes in your life. He worked at the very rehab facility he was in 7 years ago and received his own recovery! I was blessed to do Bible studies at the same facility and we both know our union was for Kingdom Building.

God gave Paul the vision of a ministry, including the name. Renegade Recovery Foundation
Great, we had a name but no idea what the rest looked like. We both had plenty of contacts in Florida to get something started but nothing and no one in TN. We don't know the area and no one in that field knows us. As always this is the perfect recipe for God. 

Needless to say the How was, and kind of still is unclear. I was praying one afternoon while still in Florida and felt the Lord gave me the word "Remember."  The Holy Spirit told me to remember all the things God had done for me and Paul in our pasts as a reminder of how capable He still is when we start to second-guess things.  
A few days later I was talking to my friend Angela and she said she was praying for me and the Lord gave her the word "remember." I love how God confirms what He's saying, we would just have to trust Him day by day for His instructions and provision.





We began praying about finances for the move and decided to pray for $1000. to put toward the rental truck. Everything would be done in faith. 
We were living in St. Cloud at the time and Paul had a work function in Tampa. I felt the Lord was telling me to go with him even though I could not attend the function. I asked God where He wanted me to go and he said there was a divine appointment for me at the Mall. I prayed about who I was supposed to contact and the Holy Spirit gave me the name of the person. I text her and asked her to meet me but she had to decline due to her work schedule. I was confused but let it go. I tried to arrange something with my daughter but she was busy so I tried another friend, she ended up being the same place my daughter was, apparently there was no plan B. 
I waited on God and about an hour later the right person text me back saying she prayed and God told her to meet me. We both only had an hour that we could meet at the mall but God doesn't need much time. You know the whole a day is like a thousand years thing. 

We met at the food court and caught up on much needed family things but time was running out. As nice as it was to see my friend and get caught up I didn't see the date as a "divine appointment." When we got up to hug goodbye she put something in my hand and told me to look at it later. After Paul and I got home I remembered the envelope and we opened it together. 

There were 10 one hundred dollar bills in there to be used toward a rental truck. 

This was not the first time the Lord gave me an envelope with ten 100 dollar bills in it. I heard him whisper "remember."

We now had a home, with furnishings thanks to the truck, and a name for the ministry. Next step all the legal steps, bank account and paraphernalia needed to get started. We went back to the Lord and felt we needed another thousand dollars to get all that in the works. Gems, we prayed in the morning and that afternoon there was a check in the mailbox for, you guess it, $1000 to be used for the ministry!

We continue to move one step at a time as the Lord leads and are so excited that God would continue to use us. Honestly Gems, sometimes I get overwhelmed being older and afraid I won't have what it takes to get things running, but then the Holy Spirit says remember Moses, Sarah and many others started late in life. At least He's not asking me to give birth in my nineties! 

So that's the update! I will keep you posted on the progress as we move forward. We would so appreciate your prayers and one day support as we have the honor of walking with our brothers and sisters struggling with addiction of any kind. I don't know if we are truly home yet, but we know God has many more divine appointments for us and we are excited to see the hand of God move. 





Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Successfully Suffering

 


Suffering, not a popular opening for any blog, sermon or motivational speech, however, a definite ingredient for a Christ centered life.

 According to https://bible.knowing-jesus.com the word suffer in the bible appears 240 times. 

Let's use Paul as a suffering example: From the Jews, 5 times he received flogging. Three times he was beaten with rods, once stoned, three times shipwrecked, and one night and day spent in the ocean. He dealt with perils of water, robbers, perils by his own people, perils by non believers, perils in the city and in the wilderness and accusations from false prophets. He was weary and in pain often hungry, thirsty, cold and naked. 

When Paul thought about going to Rome he probably thought he would go as an evangelist but I don't think he realized he would go as an evangelical prisoner. The thing is being in prison is what saved his life from the constant mobs who were trying to kill him. Technically the very people who incarcerated him were also keeping him alive.  So when it comes to suffering my daughter Jess says  "we get it Paul wins!" 

Sometimes the very places we are complaining to God about having us in are the very place that is saving our lives.

A woman I met at the addiction center shared a great testimony with me the other day. She left the facility a few months ago and relapsed. She told me she was offering her body for drug money or just begging when she could to get some cash. One day she went up to two men and asked them for money. One of the men gave her $20. and told her she  needed to find Jesus. She said she took the money and walked away. The truth is she knows Jesus, she's suffering with drug addiction. She told me she walked for a bit and then saw something on the ground that got her attention. 
  
As she got closer she realized it was a bible. When she picked it up the verse that seemed to jump off the page at her was Luke 9:23

“Then He said to them all, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." 

She said that night the scariest thing happened, she was high, laying on the ground and was bit by a recluse spider. A few nights later she had a fever and convulsions, she was really sick. When she finally got her wits about her she called an ambulance. The doctor told her she could have died. When she was able to leave the hospital she came back to the facility where I met her. She was in the office waiting for the therapist and on the desk was a row of note cards with inspirational quotes on them along with a scripture. She randomly grabbed one and what verse do you think was on it? You got it, Luke 9:23! She told me she knew immediately that God was pursing her and that He must really love her to let that spider bite her.  This is an unusual way to look at suffering but it's suffering none the less. 

There are times we suffer because of disobedience and we are dealing with the circumstances of our choices and sometimes we suffer because God is using circumstances to teach us a life lesson.
I was talking to my son Nathanael about this and he said something so profound to me. He compared suffering to a disease needing a prescription. God being the great physician would evaluate your symptoms and write you a spiritual script. Nathanael reminded me that we are all praying and asking God to help us die to self, to look more like Yeshua (Jesus) to make us a vessel for Him. In turn God writes a prescription, of suffering if you will, that will get the results He and you are looking for.

For Nathanael the spiritual sickness was needing greater faith, the prescription, move out of state and losing all help from friends and family. There was great suffering dealing with all the circumstances they endured. The results, they know they can trust God with future suffering. 

Like any medication the kind used and the dosage amount prescribed is on an individual basis depending on the sickness and the severity of it.


 You may only require a small amount of suffering where someone else needs a lot more. What we do with the results is the most important, do we take our recovery back to our brothers and sisters and help them along their journey?

My daughter Amanda was a missionary in Africa years ago. While she was there she was diagnosed with cancer and needed surgery. She was in a very poverty stricken area and I begged her to come home for medical care. My daughter is very strong willed, don't know where she gets that from, and said God told her to stay there for the surgery. I was frantic. In my mind I pictured some guy sitting on a bucket with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth holding a knife to take her organs! 



If she wasn't coming to me I would go to her. A friend offered me her frequent flyer miles so I could fly to Uganda and save my daughter. As I was making travelling arrangements I heard the Holy Spirit ask me if I got permission from God. I was like, WHAT of course He wants me to go, but fine, I'll ask.  Well Gems He said no....
Our Father explained to me there were things He was going to do in Amanda's life that I would get in the way of. I was suffering with that decision.




I could relate to what Paul was saying in Philippians 1:12-14
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.  As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.

In other words I had a plan to lessen my suffering but God had a better plan. We can't always control what medicine we need to take but we can control how we absorb it. My sickness at that moment was control over my child's health and safety because it was obvious God needed my help. The prescription was take my daughter 7700 miles away and don't let me travel. 

We  know that Jesus suffered greatly for us on the cross but have you ever thought God made him suffer to teach him obedience?  I read a scripture the other day in my study of Hebrews that blew my mind. 

Hebrews 5:8 Son though he was the son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.

When Hebrews says that Jesus "learned obedience," it's saying that He was going through a new life experience via His on going journey of saying yes to God. He would agree to suffering, even to the point of death, as our sacrifice for sin. Remember Jesus was man and he experienced every emotion we have. Sometimes being obedient to what God asks of you can be extremely hard.

Gems, I don't know what prescription of suffering you are currently dealing with, but I do know God, The Great Physician will give you the strength to handle it successfully if you let Him. 

C. H. Spurgeon said  "Faith is the great sustaining energy when you are under trials, difficulties, suffering, or hard labor. The Holy Spirit implants an active, operative faith in the Christian. It is sent to sustain you during trials, and it is a riddle that we cannot explain. Divine purpose eternally fixes everything; nevertheless, the prayer of faith moves the arm of God. And though the mystery cannot be explained, the facts cannot be denied……”The very hairs of your head are numbered” (Matt. 10:30), so go to God with your trifles. Not a sparrow falls to the ground apart your Father’s will (Matt. 10:29), so throw your minor trials on the Lord. Never think that anything is too little for your heavenly Father’s love. He who rides the whirlwind (Is. 66:15) also walks in the garden in the cool of the day (Gen. 3:8). He who shakes the avalanche from its mountain (Ps. 46:3), also makes the autumn leaf twinkle as it falls from the adorn. “He has stretched out the heavens by His understanding” (Jer. 51:15). He guides each grain of dust that is blown from the summer’s threshing floor. Confide in Him for the little as well as the for the great. You will find that He does not fail. He is the God of the hills as well as the God of the valleys."

The good news is you can suffer successfully!








Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Epiphany

 


That's right, I had an epiphany today. Now before you get too excited it's going to be one of those duhh moments. 

"Clear as the nose on your face"


You are literally going to slap your forehead and say "it took you this long to figure this out!" 



Ok, here comes the confession. "Hello my name is Gena and I'm a control freak....."

Phew, glad we got that out of the way. Now let me explain.

Recently my family was given some pretty devastating news regarding a loved one. The way I found out was via text. The message came from a family member, however, it came on a group text and the rest of the group were friends of the family member.  My initial "feeling" was, are you kidding me! I get a message about something so serious on a group text! Not even with other family but friends who don't even know the person! I was taken aback but mostly hurt.  

Soon after receiving the news this way I started getting busy. I did laundry, dishes, made the bed, took out trash etc.. I realized (epiphany) that when I feel something is totally out of my control I get busy, usually cleaning. It's probably why when I'm stressed my kids invite me over. I need to feel in control over something when I'm out of control of anything, and this is my go to. I know duh, but it really came to light for me at that moment.

 After stewing for a while and getting on myself for making me the issue I went to God. *Reminder He is The Spirit of truth*

The Holy Spirit asked me why I was bothered by how I got the news. Now, when the Holy Spirit asks you ANYTHING it's a good idea to think before you speak 😉

I had to get naked before Him and really analyze, why was I feeling like something happed to me. Why was I really hurt about the text.  He was about to show me that nothing happened to me, something happened for me. 

I confessed getting the news that way made me feel like I wasn't important enough to hear it personally, as a valued family member and not just a name on a group text. This of course is a wound from how I was raised and has nothing to do with the family member who sent the text. They didn't do anything wrong, again, God chose to use this for me, not to me. 

The Holy Spirit showed me that I still had a wound, with a scab on it, that could easily be picked and made to bleed. It was because He loved me that I needed this reminder that my value and worth are not based on people but on Him. 

Gems, people's opinions change like the wind. Read any tabloid, one day your a super star and the next day a nobody.

Just ask Yeshua (Jesus) about this kind of thing. One day people are laying palm branches down before Him and the next they are yelling crucify! He also understood the pain of family. The bible tells us in Mark 3:21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."  He understands every wound and emotion we have and His desire is to heal them all. 

This situation gave me an opportunity to allow God to restore, not just bandage, an old wound. I'm sharing all this with you Gems because God needs us to have a pure heart in order for Him to use us. 

The assignment I'm on right now comes with a great deal of spiritual warfare. It is constant. One example: I have shared with you that I'm facilitating bible study at a rehabilitation center. At this time God is moving in such a compelling way in the lives of 10 specific men.  It has been so powerful the enemy has tried to split them up. The first plan he tried failed, thank you Yeshua, so he went another direction and it's currently working. He may have won the battle but God will win the war! 

If I had resentment, anger, need of acceptance from man or anything else that would clog the communication to the Holy Spirit I would be fighting in my power and not the Holy Spirit. I would fail miserably. I have to start and end everyday on my knees. 


I'll be honest with you, today I just wanted to stay home at Yeshua's feet and let Him hold me. I didn't feel like praying or helping anyone or even talking to anyone for that matter.

I have no problem picking Yeshua over work but I'm also dedicated to fulfilling commitments. I prayed and asked God if He would let me stay with Him or did I have to go back to battle. It was the latter so I pulled myself up and got ready for work. I knew that I had nothing to offer so that meant it was going to be a dynamic day and trust me I was not going to miss a front row seat at Bible study and witness God's wonder working power!

He didn't disappoint. As I walked through the parking lot to the entrance I saw a young woman entering as well. I clearly heard the Holy Spirit say "pray for her." *Reminder I could hear clearly because I addressed the unhealed wound above.*

I was a little hesitant but obeyed. I asked if she needed prayer and of course she did. She was so thankful to know God was not only listening to her but wanted to answer. I felt a flood of confirmation myself that I discerned the Holy Spirit correctly to go to work. I continued on with a spirit of expectation. 

The group started out small and I was thankful BUT God was not. He brought in new people that arrived the night before who had an ordained appointment with The King. I have no words for what happened next! We literally applauded several times during our study of Acts 8. I actually have chills as I write this and remember the moments. The Holy Spirit gave such insight verse after verse of how the message applied to our current lives. I was just as awed as they were. They repeatedly thanked me for the insight I was giving and I kept telling them I was just the vessel, we were truly in the presence of The Almighty.

Again Gems, I was being used as a conduit because I allowed the Holy Spirit to have a tough conversation with me. Confessing and repenting of my wounded heart was what allowed the Holy Spirit to use me at all. 

It may have appeared to the enemy when he saw me on the floor in my room that I was defeated. he was about to have an epiphany!  





Friday, July 21, 2023

Deficient Disciple

 


Don’t you hate it when you're  looking for a job and you read the description and you think, I got this, then you look at the qualifications needed and you find you are apparently unqualified for the position. A job you have actually been doing for years or could figure out without a Masters degree. It is very frustrating.

In the Spiritual realm, it’s actually a preferred job qualification to be deficient.

Lemme splain.

I am currently working, and I use that term loosely, at a facility for individuals affected by mental illness and substance use disorders. The company asked me to conduct a bible study a few times each week, this seemed simple enough, as I have been facilitating bible studies for years.


I soon found out it’s not at all like the bible studies I have been a part of before. I have now entered the deficient disciple category. 



First challenge was realizing that this is a short term facility so my attenders change frequently. Do I stop and start over and over, or keep going? Next, sometimes they are medicated and can’t stay awake. Do I keep talking? Some are pretty knowledgeable about the bible and some have never opened one. How deep do I go? 


My new friends have questions like, why is her bible different from mine? What page is it on? What’s a Holy spirit? What denomination is this? What about muslim? Where was God when I…? Etc. 


Another challenge is staying focused.

 

I sometimes have the attention span of a gnat. I can get sidetracked easily and lose my train of thought like my life depends on it.  We meet in the cafeteria so there are employees coming in and out for drinks. The attendees also get up and down for drinks or to use the restroom. There can be more than one conversation going on at times, or announcements over the PA system or unusual proclamations, that’s all I’m going to say about that. 


Then there is the dreaded “smoke break.” 



 


This is a major dilemma!


This is when a mass exodus happens and I lose almost everyone. People don’t play with smoke breaks. Do I keep going for the ones remaining or do I wait for the rest to come back?  


Many of the clients share very personal testimonies of how they ended up there. These stories can be shocking or just plain heart breaking. My emotions were all over the place! Sometimes I would go home crying and just lay on my couch completely depleted. 


Like I said it is not your mama’s bible study. The first few weeks I really struggled. I had a brother with mental illness and have volunteered in mental hospitals, jails and soup kitchens over the years so I “thought” I could figure it out, but this was different. I was in over my head. 


I am a relationship person but it’s hard to build a rapport in a few weeks. I also struggled with not totally understanding addiction. I watched YouTube videos to help me relate better and learned that addiction was actually a disease.


I ask the clients questions to better understand where they are coming from as well, but trust me the enemy is all up in my business. The spiritual warfare is in full force and I have to make sure I am prayed up and have covering from family and friends. The good news is there are other believers there, including my sweet husband, that are also claiming the facility for Yeshua (Jesus.) It's comforting to know you are not alone.


Recently I was feeling overwhelmed. I was carrying things in my own strength and allowing the enemy to convince me that I was not only deficient but inadequate in my role as facilitator. I was losing sleep and my heart was so heavy with the level of evil people endure. The Lord gave me a new assignment that is so out of my comfort zone. I literally had no words to even pray for a woman at the end of our meeting. I told her I would have to wait for the Holy Spirit to speak to me before I could even pray for her.


Of course the Holy Spirit was already working on my behalf. I “ran into” a strong woman of God at the copy machine as I was leaving and I asked her to pray for me. I confessed I had no idea what to do or say and that I definitely did not feel equipped for the job. 


We went into an office, that just happened to be empty, and Gems she brought it!! We began to pray in our Spirit language at the same time and the entire atmosphere changed as the Holy Spirit took control! He was reminding us both who was in charge and that He has no limitations as long as I was using the word of God. It was a much needed human recourse appointment. When I got in my car to leave this was the scripture the Lord gave me. 



Gems, God knows our deficiencies before He asks us to do something. He counts on them so He can be glorified. A friend sent me this today, it’s the introduction to a bible study she is doing and the timing was perfect.


“Your weaknesses don’t stand a chance in the face of God’s overwhelming, almighty power…. Your weakness is actually a gift ~ a key of sorts that unlocks and unleashes His power in your life.”



I have repented of being a control freak and handed the results back to God. I'm sure you can imagine the change it has made. I am amazed at how distractions don’t  bother me as much and how the Holy Spirit speaks to His children as they come and go. He feeds them exactly what they need when they need it. I just need to follow His lead.


I actually have people missing smoke breaks so they don’t miss the discussion!! 

I am beyond honored to be a deficient disciple and I hope this encourages you to seek jobs you are ineligible for as well. God has a way of making the most deficient disciple qualified. 



Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Range Rover

 




As you may, or may not know, I got married in September! Who would have thought I would

be a bride at 61 but here I am living my "happily ever after."

Needless to say it's been a while since I have written a Gena's Jewels.

So buckle up cause here we go!

A few months ago I kept seeing Range Rovers driving in front or near me. It was so often I knew the Holy Spirit was stirring something in my Spirit.  I would pass signs in random places but literally I was surrounded by vehicles or images of Range Rovers. 

Of course in the natural it was nice to think God was telling me to buy one but I knew it was better than that, and less expensive. I began asking Him what He was saying to me. So as any good detective would do, I started with the meaning of the word. 

1. Rover: a person who spends their time wandering.

2.(in various sports) a player not restricted to a particular position on the field.

Well if you know anything about me you know I have spent a lot of time wandering! I actually love wandering and the truth is I was concerned that getting married would hinder or stop that from happening.

It was the second definition that really got my attention "not restricted to a particular position on the field" 

I’ll be honest with you. I have worked for and lived with many people. Some of those experiences have been wonderful and I have made life long friends and other times I begged to be released from my  assignment and have lost friends. The thing is living with people can make you feel less than. 


I would do my best to be “invisible” so I wouldn’t be too much of a bother.

 I would try not to ask for anything and eat as little as possible. When company came I would have to give up my area and find somewhere else to be invisible for a few days. Sometimes I slept on a couch or cot and at times on the floor. Occasionally I had my own room or area, at times I was surrounded by boxes or other people's stuff, it took some adjusting and eating of humble pie, however, I was always surrounded and encouraged by Yeshua (Jesus). 


When I would call my family  crying or confused they were great at being encouraging. I am blessed to have some awesome friends who put up with me as well and believe it or not writing to you Gems was a huge help. 

Don’t get me wrong there were many adventures of absolute fun and excitement, I wouldn’t change a bit of it, I’m just telling you being a “Rover” can be difficult. Jesus knew this well. 


And NO, I am not comparing my journey to His I just mean He understood how I felt. OK now that we got that straight.


One day when I was sharing, OK whining, to God about my frustration of feeling less than by being technically homeless, this is what He said.

“You are my personal missionary. I allow you to move in and have personal relationships with my child that needs tending to. It’s not about you living with someone, even if you “feel” less than, it’s the honor of being, literally an at home missionary.”  

It made me go from homeless to honored just like that. 


As I said, the second definition of rover was the one that got my attention. Being married now I was concerned I would have to give up being a rover and a life I had come to thrive in. I looked forward to where I would end up next and experiencing God’s supernatural provision on a  continuous basis. I can’t just bring my new husband along to random people’s houses for an indefinite sleep over, I tried he said no….

Getting used to someone providing a home and all that comes with it in a very normal way had become abnormal to me. What do you mean you get a weekly paycheck??? Of course Paul, my husband, has known me for over 20 years and read and agreed to the small print of life with Gena! 

My dear friend and mentor Fran Bozeman told me a long time ago that God was a jealous God and He was not going to give me to just anyone. Paul was worth the wait. 

So as I sit here today writing to you dear Gems, I am looking at new land that I will continue to wander on. As a player, not restricted to a particular position on the field. I will take on new assignments, some solo and some with my husband. I will still have sleepovers but will also have the gift of a home to go back to that I don’t need a U-Haul to come with me. 

I am living in a different city with lots of new people to connect with. I have been blessed to do a bible study at a local facility for addicts and people with mental issues, which by the way my husband says I seem to fit right in with. Not sure if I should slap him or say thanks 😜


The challenge is not feeling unfulfilled while I wait for the new Range Rover directions. As I'm spending more time at home right now, I have to be careful not to just get "busy" to replace expectations I have imposed on myself or by others. I need to feel truly satisfied and at peace whether I'm doing "normal" or wandering. The truth is when wandering first started that felt completely abnormal!!

I can feel bored at times and that is a sentiment of disconnectedness. I read that to be bored does not mean that we have nothing to do, but that we question the value of the things we are doing.

The Holy Spirit's response to me was "who are you to question what I ordained as important?"

OUCH....


Maybe you are at a place in your life that you feel bored or discontent. I want to encourage you that the place you're at is obviously a very important place or our Father would not have you there. We can devalue seasons that God is doing the greatest work in us for His glory and our benefit.


The fields and positions change over life but as long as we are still on this earth we are players in the ultimate game of Kingdom Building whether we are a pioneer, a settler, or a resident.

This was part of a devotional I read today:
"It may seem uncomfortable when He leads us away from the familiar, but we can be sure that where He leads us is good, and that He remains with us."


Buckle up and enjoy the ride!