Thursday, January 3, 2013

Did You See Jesus In Me?

  This is yet another confession jewel....

What happened was my grandson was expecting something recently and of course I wanted him to have what he wanted and deserved.
 It involved another person and for whatever reason that person didn't come through, again. I was angry with the person for letting him down.  We were at an event and I decided to leave as soon as it was over because I was really mad and I didn't want to see them.
Well you know God, He decided He was going to give me a pop quiz.

So who do you think I run into as I'm trying to escape? You got it, UGH!
As we passed I kept my head low and said nothing.
I did say to the Lord “really! You had to have us pass each other!”

I of course thought I passed my test because I didn't DO anything. No ugly comments were passed, no slapping or even “the look” I just quietly passed by.

Honestly in my self righteous anger I felt I was doing right by my grandson to ignore this person.

Just when you think your in the clear the Holy Spirit teaches you something. First thing I learned was I failed the test.

A few days later my grandson and I are at his house and I'm in the kitchen with my back to him making something. He says “Nana, so and so told me they passed by you the other night and they said hello and you didn't say hello back.”

Now you have to read this with that tone, you know the one. It's the tone we use when we're reprimanding someone, which was what was happening in this scenario.

I'm glad my back was to him so he didn't see my face. My first thought was, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!

Did I mention I didn't slap anyone! I had every right not to respond, I was protecting you! I was being mad for you! I was being loyal.
Did you notice all the “I's” in these thoughts.

I heard the Holy Spirit say “choose your next words wisely.”

I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and said “you're right... I didn't say hello. I was mad they had disappointed you BUT I should have said hello. I'm sorry.”
Huge gulp.....

Gems the Lord showed me my grandson expected a certain behavior from this person, even if it hurt him BUT he also expected a certain behavior from ME. He expected me to do the right thing. How I responded apparently bothered him more than his own disappointment in the situation.

The Holy Sirit showed me if I was really thinking of my grandson I would have put my feelings aside and done the right thing by God's standards not how I felt about it.

Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

Gems the world is watching to see how we respond, both the Christian and the non Christian. This was a valuable reminder to me about putting my Christianity where my mouth is because what we don't say is just as harmful at times as what we do say.
I have tried to teach my children and grand children to “choose their words wisely” hmmmm where have I heard that recently?

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
My grandson had someone tell him a situation where they didn't see Jesus in me or hear Jesus for that matter. Pretty much they were telling on me for their own motives but God used it for His motives.

My grandson heard me repent and say I'm sorry. He was reminded that Nana ain't perfect and I'm glad he knew he could call me on it. 
I think we both grew in our walk that day. I pray this story will help us all to ask ourselves, whether we are right or not, did you see Jesus in me?
Thank you Lucas for keeping Nana in check.