I'm sure a lot of you know about Ezra Matthews and his parents Kyle and Robyn. For those of you that don't Ezra is a 2 year old boy who has been battling neuroblastoma (a rare form of cancer) for over half of his life. I started following their story about 2 months ago when I joined the internship program at grace family church. We have an hour devotion time at 9 each morning. Well about 3 weeks ago while I was home getting ready to go to the church I just really felt God putting Ezra on my heart. I had the most urgent feeling that I needed to start praying for him, so I just started to pray in the spirit as I finished getting ready and drove to the church. When I got there I put on some music got down on my face and just started praying for this little boy and his family. In the song Hosanna there's a verse that says “show me how to love like you have loved me” and that has been something thats been on my heart and that I've been praying for lately. While I was on my knees begging God to heal this child He began to just fill my heart with this supernatural love for Ezra. I began to feel so much love for this child that I had never even met and I just started crying asking God to please please heal him of his cancer. Then I thought if I can love someone that I've never met, this much then how much more does the God who created him love him. I knew God was showing me his heart. In that moment I have never prayed so hard and with all I have more than i did then and I just wanted so badly for him to be healed and I know that God wanted that too. I emailed Kyle after that telling him of my experience and he told me that that was the day the doctors told them that Ezra was going to die. He ended up recovering from that and little by little started to improve. I was so hopeful and I just thanked God for the work he was doing in Ezra. Well yesterday morning at 2:45 A.M baby Ezra passed away. When I heard the news I just started weeping. I was hurt and confused. I had no idea why this happened. I'm not mad at God for what happened and I'm not going to lose faith over it I just don't understand it, but then again I can't see the big picture that he sees. I know just in my life Ezra's 2 years here has made such an impact. Through him God taught me how to love others like He loves me, he taught me what it truly means to pray and fast and petition God daily for a miracle to happen. Through Kyle and Robyn he taught me what it is to stand by God no matter what, to trust him wholeheartedly even when it gets hard and painful and ugly. I will always look to them as an example when I go through my own hard times and I will always remember baby Ezra and the love I was given for him. I know Ezra is in a better place now a place where there is no more pain or death or tears, but it still hurts and it still breaks my heart. Through it all I still know the God we serve is a merciful and loving God and that even though we may not be able to see how, he does work all things for good and for his glory. I cant wait to meet this amazing child of God in the arms of our Father.
By Nathanael Duran 11/2010
Oh Nathanael
ReplyDeleteYou have stated so much and so eloquently. It is so hard to see the forest for the trees while we are in the throws of grief. But everything you said is true. We DO have a loving God. God does grieve with us over the loss of our loved one. He knows this grief first hand thru the death of His son,Jesus.
But,because of this great sacrifice ,we all have eternal life and can look forward to being reunited with our loved ones again.
In the mean time God will bring much good and many blessings from this painful experience. We must continue to Trust and Belive Him to do it.
I speak from experience. I buried my son almost six years ago. It is a hard and painful journey but God has continued to bless me and care for me daily. He has not left me comfortless. And I know I will see and speak to and hold my son again, this time for eternity!!
God bless you for all you are doing. I will definetly keep this family in prayer as they travel this long, hard and painful journey.
Dear Gena,
ReplyDeleteOnce again, your heart speaks through your blog.
The day of Ezra's passing I read Kyle's letter informing everyone of his passing. As I read I noticed a lot of strength, strength that could have only come from God. I doubted my strength in this type of situation, if it was my son going through this. Reminds me of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross that his father had to endure.
Let's not forget Ezra or his family, and let's Thank God for his strength!
Paul