Don’t Give Bread Alone

I arrived at Soup kitchen ready to greet our guest for dinner under a beautiful blue sky. I greeted each one by name then as they picked their spots I stopped by each table to again greet and remind them how special they are to our sweet Jesus.

Then it happened, I made eye contact with an elderly man shuffling from his electric wheel chair to his place at the table. He wore an old Veterans hat tattered and torn with his long grey hair poking out the bottom. He had hard lines on his face with a scruffy mustache and beard but just under the rim of the hat were the most amazing blue eyes. Still vibrant in spite of the hard life his small frame showed.
I sat across from him with the sun in my eyes squinting to take in each feature of his chiseled face. I asked his name and extended my hand across the worn folding table we bring each week. He told me his name was James in a deep soft voice I had to lean forward to hear. We shook hands and made an unspoken commitment to listen to each other.
I’m going to share some facts about James with you:

1.      He has 2 children in the U.S.

2.      He has a child in Vietnam, Germany, Greece and Korea

3.      He has never met the children outside of the U.S. and has no relationship with the two in the U.S.

4.      He is a recovering alcoholic

5.      He did time in prison

If I left you with these facts you would have a pretty negative impression of my new friend James and his 70 years on this planet. But one of the most precious gifts the Lord has given me is to not assume the worst in people.

As our conversation continued I found out that James was in both the Korean War and the Vietnam War. He saw things that drove him to alcohol and binges of black outs so he could survive the hell that had now become his young life.

He told me of times in Vietnam when he was fighting for his life, a machine gun his only tool, and how if you shot it before you got the “OK” you had to pay for the ammunition. He went on to tell me how expensive bullets are for a machine gun. He shared that when he came home from Vietnam he was greeted the way many of our soldiers were with contempt and hatred for surviving a war he didn’t ask for. His wife greeted him with divorce papers.

He married again but suffered from flash backs and nightmares. His 2nd wife woke him up one night and he thought he was in the war and the event that followed horrified both him and his wife. This of course led to another divorce. He tried to get back to Korea to be with the women he left there and truly loved but she was killed by the very war that took James’ once normal life.

He was forbidden to see his children here in the States because of his unstable condition from post-traumatic stress. He has to live with the fact he never met his children in the other countries. He said his prayer is they made it back to the United States and could one day forgive him.

I asked James if he had an explanation for why he survived and so many of our soldiers today are committing suicide. He looked me square in the eyes and said “I tried on many occasions to kill myself but for some reason the Lord didn't let it happen.” He went on “now I’m old so there’s no sense, I will die soon.” 

I moved across the table to sit closer to James and asked if he was on disability and he said no, that because he went A-wall for 3 months in a drunken state he was given a dishonorable discharge. He told me the key was to stay drunk. If you stayed drunk it’s amazing the things the mind can block out.

James had 4 months of leave time saved, how ironic that he was not allowed to use that time then be given help for his condition. He told me he has a few people fighting for him as the dishonorable discharge was changed in Illinois where he’s from but here in Florida it’s not accepted. I don’t understand all that he was saying but I got the gist of it. This brought some hope into the story and I excitedly asked when that will happen?  He laughed and said “they have been working on it since 1986 but it doesn't matter I will die soon.” He reminded me he was alone with no family and most people he’d known have already passed.

My heart was so full of pain and remorse for this man I had just met. His small frame reminded me of my own father before he passed. He had made his way into my heart and I just wanted to cry as I felt so helpless to add any light to his bleak situation.

I realized we had been talking so long James hadn't had a chance to eat his meal. I told him to go ahead and eat and he said he wasn't hungry, that he didn't come for the meals each week he came for someone to talk to.

Matthew 4:4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

James lives alone in a small efficiency apartment and drives his motorized wheel chair to our site hoping to have conversation. Hoping to find acceptance in a world filled with wars, hatred, disrespect, and injustice. You would think he would be an angry man but he’s not. I asked if he had a relationship with Jesus and he said yes. I found myself at times almost staring into his blue eyes wondering how they have stayed so vibrant while the rest of his body has taken such a beating.

He has been coming to our soup kitchen not for food but for friendship and I’m happy to say he found that before I even met him. I serve with such an amazing group of volunteers that LOVE the body of Christ. The whole body. He is greeted with a smile from the beautiful woman who gives him his name tag to the high school students that make sure he has a drink. Evelyn, one of our leaders, makes sure he’s accounted for each week. James told me last week he was home sick and a volunteer brought him dinner.

Gems there are times there is nothing we can do to fix a person’s circumstance but we always have the opportunity to change their moment with us. I am honored to have met James and after thanking him for fighting for my freedom I let him know I will look for him each week so we can have talk time because two are always better than one.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.

I asked James before he left if there was anything he needed and he said he would love a pair of jeans and some new tee shirts. This is a veteran of the United States Army asking me for an outfit….
I will have it for him next week along with a hug, a smile and a reminder that he is loved by the King of Kings and that he is never alone.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Gems sometimes we have to be the ones who use our mouths for Jesus words to come out of. We have to be the one who helps our brother or sister up. We have to be the one to remind the world that Jesus will never leave or forsake us.

I pray this jewel encourages you to not give bread alone...