Monday, August 17, 2009

Talking To My Dad

When I pray with a group people often comment that I’m a good prayer. That use to bother me. Sometimes I would try not to pray too long if I was with people who are not comfortable praying out loud because I didn’t want them to feel more uncomfortable. I would get embarrassed when someone commented on my praying because I never wanted anyone to compare me to themselves as prayer is not a competition. The thing is, I love to pray. Now when a comment is made I say “I’m just talking to my dad.”
I want to tell you that is a miracle in itself. I use to say I’m talking to my father because saying my dad would remind me of my earthly father and even saying those words didn’t seem natural.
I never quite understood when someone referred to God as their dad. I could see them saying Father, it’s in the Bible, but dad… A “Father” kept him at a safe distance for me.
The Catholics call their priest Father and in most cases the congregation does not have a personal relationship with him. The Bible says Father when referring to God which to me made him sound Holy and not really touchable.
Daddy on the other hand is a term of endearment. It’s what we say to our new babies before they speak hoping they will make the sound of dad. It’s what a toddler yells when their dad comes home from work “daddy’s home!” It’s a word that gives you a good feeling inside, the feeling of love. I did not have that feeling.
For me “dad” did not conjor up such fond memories. I did not have a bad relationship with my dad I didn’t’ have any. One of the things that bothered me the most in our relationship was never hearing my father say my name. Whenever he did speak to me he called me stupid, now one of my pet peeves.
We had a phone mounted on the kitchen wall, remember those days, and if one of my friends called and my father answered the phone he would just hang it up, never say a word just hang up. That’s how I knew the call was for me. He didn’t speak to me and at times I wanted him to talk to me so bad it hurt. When he did finally speak I would have to find a place to heal my wounds from his words. I don’t know what hurt more the silence or the words. I’m not trying to bash my father here or make you feel sorry for me I just want to explain why it was hard for me to think of God as my dad.
Over time the Lord has shown me how He has always been my dad and He has healed the wounds of my earthly father. Now when I pray I truly am just talking to my dad.
It’s exciting to tell Him everything that’s going on in my life. I know this sounds corny but sometimes I imagine I’m sitting on his lap and He has His arms around me. We are in a rocking chair of course because I love rocking chairs. Some times we are in the car or at a park or just hanging out in my room and I’m telling Him everything.
There are times the Lord wakes me up really early in the morning and my mind is full of thoughts. I know then the Holy Spirit is calling so He can talk to me. The best part is I’m the one who answers the Spirit phone and I never hang up. I will get a piece of paper and pen and write down what I’m thinking so I won’t forget what He says. That’s how this jewel happened. God woke me up about 5 a.m. and my head was filled with things to write about.
If you’re a parent you know there’s nothing sweeter than hearing your child say mommy or daddy. If you have never had a child you know how sweet it is to hear the one you love call your name with a smile in their voice. If you’re on your own for a long time it’s great to hear some one speak to you and say your name in the conversation. There is something magical that happens when we hear our name. I guess that’s why God had the Third Commandment be, do not to use the name of the Lord in vain. Our name is precious.
So I encourage you the next time your in a group or with just one person and you feel weird about praying out loud, remember your just talking to your dad and He loves the sound of your voice. If you’re praying with someone say their name out loud for them to hear.
There were times in the Bible when Jesus said He was talking out loud, not for His Father to hear but for the people around Him. We all need to know and hear someone praying for us.
Even on the cross Jesus prayed out loud for us Luke 23:34 Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing. One of the last things Jesus said on the cross was Luke 23:46”Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”
I would like to think in His heart He was saying Daddy I’m coming home! Don’t let praying out loud intimidate you, just say to yourself “I’m talking to my dad.”


Gena’s Jewels

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